


Something just like this

by thiswillendinflames



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Dating, Eventual Smut, First Dates, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mentions of Sex, No Angst, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Texting, maybe just a little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28261956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiswillendinflames/pseuds/thiswillendinflames
Summary: Baz and Simon meet on the plane going to London. While Simon is going there to spend a month with his best friends, Baz is going home after a week in New York.They talk during the whole flight, and soon they both already know that they want to see each other again, but they are afraid to say goodbye at the airport. Luckily for them, destiny seems to be working on their side.Destiny and Penelope Bunce.
Relationships: Dev & Niall & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Penelope Bunce/Shepard, Shepard & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Shepard, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 23
Kudos: 55





	1. Take me back to London

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I'm really glad to be back with a new fic and I'm very excited about this one.  
> It's been some time since I wrote something fluff with no angst, so I hope you all enjoy it.  
> I'll keep the rating Teen and ups for now, but I'll probably change that in the future, I'm just not sure when.  
> This first chapter is smaller than the other ones, so don't worry you will have a lot to read in the future.  
> Enjoy ;)

**Simon**

I turn around and walk back to where my father is waiting and see him tapping his foot and moving uncomfortably. Lately, he’s always uncomfortable around too many people, so it was a surprise when he said he wanted to come here with me. 

We never had the best relationship, and after my mother’s death it only got worse, but we are trying to be better, even if we disagree almost the whole time. 

For example, he didn't think I should be going to London. Since we moved out twelve years ago, we never went back there, even for holidays. But I always wanted to go back, I always felt that London was more my home than New York, and now that mum’s gone, I don’t really have a reason to stay.

But for my father it was different. London was not only his home, but it was also my mother’s home, and now going back there would be too painful. So, he doesn't understand why I want to go back, why I would leave New York, and our life behind. And it’s why he almost freaked out when I told him that I was going to London.

Of course, he couldn't have forbidden me, I’m already 24 years old, I don’t live with him anymore, so I can do whatever I want with my life. But I only calmed him down when I told him that I was only going for a month. That I would come back here after thirty days.

“Done?” My father asks when I reach him.

“Yes, everything is done.” He nods and we stay in awkward silence for some seconds. “Well,” I clear my throat. “I have to go then.”

“Okay.” He looks at me. “You will come back in a month right?”

“Yes dad, just a month and then I’m back here.”

“Good. You should go then. Be careful and if you need anything, call me.” His words don’t have affection or anything like that. By now, I’m used to his cold tone. 

“I will, thanks for the ride.” He nods again.

For a second we just stand without knowing how to say goodbye. But then he pats my shoulder and leaves, without saying anything else. I sigh, more in relief than anything else, and when I turn away, my smile is already back. 

I was so happy to go back to London. I literally counted the days since I bought the tickets, and now it was time to go. Time to be back home and away from my messed life here. At least for a month. 

I planned to move there eventually, but for now, I’m happy with my thirty days. I was extremely anxious to go there and to see Penny. Penelope Bunce was my best friend since we were born. Our mums have been friends since school and when they got pregnant together, it was obvious that the babies would grow up together too.

And we did. Penny and I were inseparable until I had to move out. But even then, we always found a way to stay in touch with each other, and she has come to see me in New York other times, including in my mum’s funeral. But it has been a year since we saw each other for the last time, so I was missing her a lot.

And I was even more excited because I was also going there to follow a dream. Since I graduated in college I have been in between jobs, figuring out what I wanted to do, since my degree was not good for anything that I wanted. It was when I found out that I liked drawing and design things, and I was good at it. I did a few classes and started to see that I wanted to do that.

I wanted to be a professional designer, so I was over the moon when I was selected between thousands of people to take classes in the best designing school in London. It was only for a month, but I knew that I would learn a lot. So, I even stopped to think about it, I just talked to Penny, bought my tickets and counted the days until this morning. 

So, I couldn't wait for this. I couldn’t wait to be in London. I had a feeling that this trip would be amazing. 

**Baz**

Fiona stops the car still cursing the other driver that hasn't done anything wrong. I shake my head and roll my eyes, Fiona is always Fiona. I have always had a hard time explaining her to other people, but I’m already used to her. 

“Do I need to go inside with you?” She turns to me.

“No, thank you, I’m able to find everything on my own.” She shrugs. “Thank you for letting me stay Fi.” 

“You’re welcome kiddo. Just promise me that you won’t take another five years to come to visit me again.” 

“I will try. You know that I’m busy with work.” It’s my time to shrug.

“You don’t need to work.” She says. “The good thing about borning rich is that you don’t need to do what normal people do.” 

“Fiona.” We already had this conversation so many times that I’m already tired of it. “I like my job. And if it weren't my work, I wouldn't even have come here.” She rolls her eyes. 

“Fine, do what you want, now get out of my car that I have important things to do.”

I leave her car and go take my luggage from the backseat and go back to say goodbye. She barely gives me a proper goodbye because she is pretending that she is too cool to do that, so I just leave her there and head to the airport.

Fiona has been living in New York for the last five years, but this was the first time I came to visit her. Before here she lived in other cities, but I never was able to go where she was, when I was younger my father didn't let me stay alone with her and then I had college and work, so I never had time. 

But this time I was able to come, but only because the magazine I work, send me here to do some shots of the fashion week. The rest of the crew that came with me already left yesterday, but I took two extra days to be with Fiona. But one was more than enough, so I rescheduled my flight and now I was glad that I was going home. 

I carry my heavy luggage inside the airport and do my check-in. I’ve only been in New York for a week, but looking at my baggage you would think it was a month. But in my defence, I had to bring my equipment and it took more space than my own things. 

I just passed through security when my phone rings and I see my cousin’s name on the screen. I should be surprised that he’s calling me this time (in London is already pretty late) but I’m never surprised with Dev. 

“Hey, how’s New York? Have you met some bloke already?” I roll my eyes. Honestly, I don’t know why I had this family. 

“New York is almost behind me already, and no, I was here for work. I will let the whole ‘meet blokes’ part to you.” 

“What do you mean New York is behind you? Your flight is only tomorrow, go out and meet someone. And you know that I am a monogamous bloke, my heart belongs only to -” I don’t let him finish.

“Yeah, yeah, I know that you and Niall are the perfect couple, don’t need to remind me.” I tremble remembering the times I caught them together in very embarrassing moments. Embarrassing to me of course, because Dev just laughed and Niall pretended it didn’t happen. “I rescheduled my flight for today, I am already at the airport.”

“You’re the only person who wants to leave New York sooner,” Dev complains. 

“It’s not that. I just have a lot of work to do. I have hundreds of photos to edit before sending to the magazine, and I rather do that at home.” I know that Dev will start to say something, so I cut him before he even starts. “I will come to New York in another time when I’m not working and then I’ll follow what you say.” He laughs.

“I’m gonna remember this okay? Niall is here listening, he’s a witness, he’ll support me if you don’t do what you’re saying.” I roll my eyes again. 

“Fine. I have to go now, see you tomorrow.” I hung up before he could say anything else. 

**Simon**

I have less than an hour until the boarding starts, but I’m bored. I already tried to read a book, listen to music, watch something on my phone, but I’m still bored. I think I’m so anxious that my mind can’t focus on something other than London and the trip.

I’m walking a bit when my phone rings. I see Penny’s name and I can’t contain a smile. 

“Why are you calling me this hour? If my counts are correct, it’s already really late there.” 

“It is, but I’m so anxious to see you that I don’t want to sleep,” Penny says, making me laugh.

“I know, I’m really anxious too, but in a few hours I’ll be already there with you.” I hear some noises on Penny’s side.

“Shepard says he’s missing you.” 

“Tell him that he’s the only one to blame, and you too actually. He was my friend here, and then you showed up and took him to London with you.” I laugh remembering when they started to date.

Shepard was one of my closest friends here in New York, and then in one summer, Penny came to visit me and they fell in love. Six months later, Shepard moved to London to be with Penny and left me behind, but I was happy for them. With some luck, soon I would be there with them for good too. 

“Well, now you will be here with us too.” She says laughing. “I just called to see if you were okay and if you were already at the airport.” 

“Yes, I came here a lot sooner so I wouldn't have any way of missing the flight, and I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“I always worry about you.” Penny has always been extra protective of me and that just got worse after what happened with my mum. 

“And you don’t have to, I already told you Pen, I can take care of myself.” I almost can see her rolling her eyes.

“I know, but it doesn't mean that I don’t worry.” 

“I know that too.” I look at the time and see that the boarding will start soon. “Thanks for calling Penny, but you and Shep should get some sleep, I’ll be boarding in some minutes and I want to get a coffee before I get on the plane.”

“Okay, have a good flight then. And are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up at the airport?” 

“Yes, I’ll be fine, I’ll get an uber or something. See you tomorrow?” 

“See you tomorrow.” I hear the excitement in her voice.

I hang up and go get the coffee and chocolate to calm me down. I hate heights and I hate being on a plane. Thankfully my seat was not on the window, so I had only to worry with the take-off and the landing.

I lost so much time on the line to get the coffee that the boarding already started. I go to the line once I get my things, but there are a lot of people in front of me, which at least, allows me to end my coffee and eat my chocolate. 

They check my ticket and my passport but it only takes a couple of seconds and then I’m already going to the plane. I feel my hands shaking and I know that it’s a mix of fear and excitement. 

The flight attendant indicates my seat and I see that the seat on my side is already taken. 

I stop for a second when I see the bloke that’s sitting on the window seat. He seems to be around my age, and he’s gorgeous, I just saw a glance of his face, but I’m sure that I never saw a bloke so handsome as him. 

I stop staring at him and go to my seat. The bloke on my side is still turned to the window, and everything I can see now is a curtain of black hair, he’s talking on his phone, but his voice is low, so I don’t know what he’s talking about. The flight attendant asks him to turn down his phone, before going to pass the flight instructions. 

After a couple of minutes, the plane is moving and my heart is at my throat.

**Baz**

I just hung up the phone with Fiona, she found out that I was supposed to leave only tomorrow and now she is furious. She started a dramatic speech about how I don’t care about her, and how she should never be in contact with me again. But luckily the flight attendant came to save me. 

I turn down my phone and put on the seatbelt, preparing myself to the take-off, but a movement on my side calls my attention. I look to the seat beside mine and see an unfairly hot bloke at my side.

It’s not hard for me to find men attractive, but I usually just look at them and move on, but now there’s something different and I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s his bronze curls or the shape of his jaw. Maybe it is the pattern of moles and freckles on his face, neck and arms. Or maybe is everything and more. 

Luckily he has his eyes closed, so he doesn’t see me staring at him. But there’s something different on his face, he doesn't seem to be just closing his eyes to rest. He seems scared. His mouth is in a thin line, and I look at his hands and see that his knuckles are almost white with the strength that he’s holding the armrest. I’m not used to talking to people that I don’t know, but I don’t resist.

“Hello? Are you okay?” With the sound of my voice, he opens his eyes and looks at me. 

Okay. Add the colour of his eyes - a plain and boring blue - to the list of things that are too beautiful.

“Uh …” He takes a few seconds to reply. “I am okay, thank you. I just …” He looks to the window behind me and then closes his eyes again. “I hate heights, and hate flying, especially this part of flying.” I didn’t expect the British accent coming from him, I thought that he was just an American going to London. But it was nice to hear the familiar accent.

“I never liked this part either,” I confess to him. “But it always helped me to think about other things,” I suggest. “The other flight was hard for you?” I ask, wanting to distract him.

“What other flight?” He opens his eyes again and looks confused.

“The one that brought you from England? I’m supposing that you came from there with the accent and all ...”

“Oh, no, well I came from there.” He looks to the window before looking at me again. “But I don’t remember the flight, I moved from London years ago,” The plane makes a loud noise and he closes his eyes again. “Uh, I never had been in a plane after that.”

“Are you happy about going back?” He looks at me and I see a hint of a smile on his face. 

“Yes. I missed that city a lot. Unfortunately, I will be there only for a month, but hopefully, in the future, I won’t have to go back to New York again.” I nod, without knowing what to say. “What about you? Spending holidays in New York?” 

“No, I was working actually. I took pictures of the fashion week for the magazine I work.”

At this time the plane goes on full speed and really takes-off. The bloke starts to hyperventilate, he holds the armrest again and closes his eyes. So, I do the first thing I can think of and place my hand on top of his. He opens his eyes and looks at me. 

“Try to focus on your breathing,” I tell him and I start to breathe calmer so he can follow. “Try to follow me.” I go back breathing in and out and this time he copies me. 

We keep breathing together, my hand still on top of his until the plane reaches the right height. Then he leans against his seat and I see his shoulders relaxing and his breathing going calmer. I take my hand off his and he looks at me once again.

“Thank you, that helped a lot.” He smiles and I’m lost. 

Add a killer smile to the list of things that are too beautiful about this bloke. 

“I’m Simon, by the way.” He introduces himself. “Simon Snow.” That’s endearing. “It's really nice to meet you.” It’s my time to smile.

“I’m Baz Pitch, it’s nice to meet you too.” 

I think this flight will be far more interesting than I thought. 


	2. London boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with the second chapter, I hope you like it :)

**Simon**

My fear of heights and planes is already buried in my mind. Now, I’m more focused on the bloke beside me. 

_ Baz _ . 

Before, with only a glance I thought that he was handsome, but now that I saw his whole face I can tell that I was wrong. He is much more handsome than I thought. Seriously, when I looked at him and saw his intense grey eyes, I had to take some seconds to recompose myself.

I never reacted this way to anyone before. I already thought that some people were attractive, boys and girls, but not with this intensity.

“So,” Baz starts. “Why did you move out of London?” I was glad that he was still talking to me, but this topic usually drags people a little down.

“My mum was sick.” I start explaining. “The doctor said that the best hospital to treat her was in New York, it was extremely expensive, but it was her best shot so we moved out.” 

“Did she get the treatment?”

“She did and it worked for a while, more than we thought actually, the doctor had said that if she got the correct treatment she could live a few years longer, and she lived eight years after the diagnosis, so for us, it was really good.” I stop before completing. “She died four years ago.”

“Oh, I …” He seems embarrassed. “I lost my mum when I was five so I know how much this hurts, so I’m sorry I didn’t mean to …” I cut him.

“No, that’s okay. I had a hard time, you probably know how it is, but I’m fine now, at the end she was suffering a lot, so at least she is resting now.” He nods. “I’m sorry about your mum though, losing her as a kid must have been difficult.” He nods again but doesn’t say anything else. “Anyway, the conversation got a bit sad.” I huff a laugh. “So let’s talk about cheerful things, it was your first time in New York?”

“It was. My aunt lives there, she moved five ago, but I never got the chance to come, this time though I had to work, so I took the opportunity, but I barely went out, so I still don’t have an opinion about the city.” He shrugs. “Do you like to live in New York?”

“It’s a nice city, but it’s not my home.” It’s my time to shrug. “I have friends there and all, but I feel like New York now is filled with sad memories of my mum. London though reminds me of our happy days. And my two best friends live in London so it’s a plus to going back there.” The plane shakes a bit, but luckily it’s just a few seconds. “My time to ask now.” I want to keep talking to him, but for a second I worry that I might be annoying him. “I mean if it’s okay with you. I like to talk when I’m nervous.” He laughs.

“That’s okay. We have a long flight in front of us, it would be nice to have a conversation.” I smile.

“Okay then.” I think for a second about what I want to know about him. “You said you’re a photographer?” 

“Yes, I work in a magazine now, but I always liked to take photos, which my father always hated.” He rolls his eyes. 

“Your father doesn't like your job?” He shakes his head.

“He wanted me to be a lawyer like him so it was a big disappointment when I told him that I would become a photographer.” 

“I know how it is, I got a degree in business because my father wanted it, but I never worked with that. It was just a pointless degree.” I don’t know why I did that. If it was today I wouldn't get a degree only to please my father. 

“What do you work with now?” He sounds interested, so I know that he isn't just being polite. It’s nice talking to him.

“Right now I’m not working with anything, but I want to be a designer. It’s the other reason why I’m going to London. I was selected in a program to have classes in the best designing school in the country. During the whole month, I will have classes with the best designers and meet a lot of important people.” I can’t contain a smile talking about that and Baz smiles too.

“That’s nice. Your father didn't say anything about that?”

“No, he doesn't care anymore. We don’t have a close relationship. When my mum was still alive was different because I wanted us to be closer you know, for her. But my father got so obsessive in finding better treatments for her that he barely spent time with us.” I shrug. “Now we have a distant relationship, so he doesn't really care about what I’m doing with my life.”

“I’m sorry.” He says. “But I understand the bad relationship with parents.” He laughs a bit. “When I was a teenager my father and I were always fighting. It only got better when my stepmother started to help us.”

Before I could say something else the flight attendant comes with the dinner and it’s enough to change my focus. 

**Baz**

We’re in silence for some minutes, just enough so we can eat. But I can feel Snow (sounds proper to call him that) looking at me. 

I never talked to strange people on flights or in any places, but I like to talk to him. It’s weird, but I feel like I have known him for years. The talk just flows between us, and that never happens with me, I always shut down the people that are not my family or my close friends.

Once we finish our meal, I turn partially to him (the best way I can in the tight space) and he looks at me again.

“Okay, now I want to know about your name, I never heard of ‘Snow’ as the last name before. Unless you’re a bastard from the north.” He laughs.

“Well, as long as I know I’m not. But Snow it’s my middle name actually, my last name it’s Salisbury.” He explains. 

“SSS?” I ask and he laughs again.

“Yes, my mother was not very creative. She chose my name and then she wanted me to have a silly middle name because she thought that everyone should have one, so she chose Snow, and Salisbury was already the family name, so she didn't get a choice on that one. But I always prefered to introduce myself with my middle name. Now it makes me closer to her somehow.” He smiles. “But what about you, do you have a silly middle name?”

“Uh, well, Baz is kinda my middle name.” I always hate to explain my name. “Baz it’s short for Basilton, which is my middle name.” 

“What is your first name then?” He sounds curious.

“Well, I don’t like to give my first name because it’s an old family name you know and I hate it, so I always used Basilton. But my full name is Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch.”

“Wow, that’s a posh name.” He laughs and I laugh with him.

“It is, I have a friend who says the same thing. She used to say that my family didn’t want to give me a choice of not being posh.” 

“She is right.” The light on the plane is turned off. “Do you want to sleep? I can stop annoying you.” He says with a smile.

“I don’t want to sleep now and you’re not annoying me.” He nods, still smiling.

“Then it’s my turn to ask something. Let me see.” He thinks for a second. “Do you have siblings?” 

“I do. Three sisters and a brother, they all are from my stepmother though. And they are a lot younger than me, so we didn’t grow up so close as I wanted, but they are nice kids.” 

“That’s nice, I always wanted one.” He looks away, probably lost in some thought, but then looks at me again. “And you ...” I cut him.

“Now is my time to ask.” He laughs.

“Okay, go on.”

“Uh…” I stop to think first. “You don’t have family in England?” He only talked about his parents and best friends so I wanted to know more. 

“No, my father never mentioned any family, and my mum’s family was small. My grandfather died when she was a teenager and my grandmother died when I was a kid. I know I have an uncle, but after we moved to New York I never saw him again. He even showed up for my mum’s funeral, so, I don’t think he counts as family.” He shrugs. “What about you? For what you told me there is an aunt, siblings, your father and stepmother, right?” 

“Yeah, my aunt was my mum’s sister and even though she is always far away, I’m closer to her. My father has a couple of siblings that I see only on special occasions. The only other family member that I have contact with is my cousin Dev, we have the same age so we grew up together.” And sometimes he makes me regret the decision to leave him in my life. 

“And are you closer to your family?” I don’t remind him that it’s my turn to ask because I like that he’s interested in knowing me. 

“Well, it’s hard with my siblings, the oldest one is ten years younger than me, so we have a huge age gap, but I love to be with them. My stepmother is amazing, at first when my father married her, I thought I would hate her, but she is incredible and never treated me different from her kids. And my father, as I said before is complicated, we always fought when I was younger.”

“Why? Only because of the job thing?” 

“I will ask extra questions to you in the next round.” He laughs and I smile, even his laugh is beautiful. “But yeah, I never corresponded to his expectations, he wanted me to be a lawyer like him, and to get married with a rich girl, so when I told him that I was gay and that I wanted to be a photographer it was a big shock to him.” Something sparkles on his eyes.

“It must be hard coming out to your family.”

“It was, my aunt always supported me, but my father was more complicated, only got better when my stepmother started to put some sense on his head.”

“I don’t know how my father would react if I came out to him.” He says more to himself than to me. But I heard his words and started to process the information. He’s saying as a hypothetical question or something else? “My mum would support me if she had known before she died though.” Maybe not hypothetical then. He looks back at me. “Sorry, I was considering that. The only people that I did come out to were my friends, so I don’t know how it is to have family dealing with that.” Interesting. 

“Are you …” I don’t finish the question, but he understands.

“I’m bi, I mean, I think I am, I know that I’m not straight, so.” He shrugs. “I only found out a couple of years ago.” He explains. “Actually, my friend made me realise that. I was pining over a boy that studied with me in college, and I was always talking about him to my friend until she said that maybe I should look into that.” He laughs. 

“What happened with the boy?” Nothing changed in the conversation, but knowing that he is bi or not straight as he said, makes this conversation change to me. 

“Nothing, he was extremely straight and dating a really hot girl, so nothing happened.” I laugh with him. “What about you? You always knew you were gay, or there was a moment where you realised?”

“I think I always knew, I didn't have a moment when I realised, it was just something that was always with me.” I shrug. “So, you only told your friends about you?”

“Only my two best friends, actually they helped me figure it out the whole situation, so I didn’t really tell them.” He smiles. “But my other friends and roommate must have figured it out by now. And I think that my ex-girlfriend also knows, or at least suspects something.” I raise my eyebrow at him and he laughs. “She saw me on a date with a guy from college and she was confused. It was very awkward.” 

“Yeah, meeting an ex can be very awkward even without adding a third person,” I say. 

“Do you say for experience?” He asks, curious.

“Yes, that already happened a couple of times, and I work with my most recent ex, so it’s awkward. Especially now that he's starting to date another person from work.” Snow makes a face.

“Ouch, that it’s bad.” I nod.

“Luckily I spend a lot of time outside the office so I almost don’t see him so much.”

He doesn’t answer anything for some seconds and only then I notice that almost everyone is already sleeping.

“Do you think we are bothering the other people?” I ask him, lowering my voice. 

“Probably.” He laughs and looks around too before looking back at me. “I have to say,” He is almost whispering now. “I didn’t expect to have such a nice conversation with someone I just met, so now I don't even care that I’m bothering these other people.” I feel a small heat on my cheeks, but luckily it’s dark enough so I don’t think Snow can see. 

“Well, I don’t care either.” We smile at each other and that makes something to me. I don’t know how to explain. “It’s really nice to talk to you.” His smile gets wider. 

“I’m glad we met. This flight would be terrible if I had to be alone.” Even though it’s dark I can see a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Agree.” We keep looking at each other for some seconds until a baby starts to cry and breaks the moment.

“Now we are not the only ones bothering here.” He laughs, but then yawns. 

“You should sleep.” I don’t want him to go to sleep, we only have a few hours together and I don’t want to waste it, but I am starting to feel sleepy too. 

“I don’t want to sleep.” He says, and I wonder if he’s thinking the same thing that I am thinking. 

I have been in relationships before, but I always found it hard to open myself to another person, to let them in and see me. But I feel like I can tell Snow anything, I know it’s crazy, I know him for like two hours, but talking to him it’s easy, it’s good. And he likes talking to me too.

It’s too crazy for me to be sad that in a few hours we will say goodbye? It’s too soon for me to be feeling this weird thing on my chest? I know it is, at least for me, but I can't help it.

“Do you want to see a movie?” He asks me. “I’ll probably sleep, but I can’t shut my brain out now.”

“Okay, I’ll let you choose.”

While he chooses the movie, I look at him. He is infuriatingly handsome, but I don’t think that it’s only that. I don’t think that everything that’s going through my mind now it’s only because of his looks. It’s more than that. 

**Simon**

I feel Baz’s eyes on me while I’m choosing the movie, and that’s almost enough to make me lose concentration. I don’t know why, but he was messing with my head. I mean, he is extremely gorgeous and that usually would be enough to make me not know how to act, but it’s more than that.

And now that I know that he’s gay I feel that this conversation could be more than just a friendly thing. I mean, I feel like there’s something more than that.

I’ve only dated a girl when I was a teenager and we broke up at the start of college, and since then I have been only on short dates with a few people, but I never felt so connected with someone as I’m feeling now with Baz. And that’s crazy because I know him only for a few hours, but it seems much more.

I talk to him just like I would talk to Penny or Shep, but they are like brothers to me and that’s definitely not how I am feeling with Baz. 

“Have you watched this one?” I ask, clicking in a random movie.

“Not that I remember it.” 

“Okay, then let’s watch it.” He goes to his screen and looks for the movie and we start watching at the same time.

I lose a few minutes trying to find a comfortable position on my seat, but eventually, I give up because I know that I’m already the most comfortable that I can be in those seats. 

I barely pay attention to the movie, I’m tired and sleepy, but I keep thinking about this next month in London and Baz on my side. And I start wondering, we are going to the same place, at least for this next month and just because we’re going to separate ways on the airport, doesn't mean that we have to say goodbye. 

That it’s enough to make me relax.

*********

I wake up in the middle of turbulence. The plane is shaking a bit, and that makes me open my eyes really fast. The first thing I notice - besides the plane shaking - is Baz’s head on my shoulder. I try not to move too much and then I look around, there’s a person with the window open and I can see that the sun is starting to rise.

Looking at the clock on the screen on the seat in front of me, I see that it’s already 08 a.m in the London timezone, and we have only three more hours to get there. Baz is still sleeping, so I keep still, not wanting him to wake up and at the same time, wanting him to wake up so we could go back talking again. 

I spend almost twenty minutes without moving, only thinking about a lot of things. Then the lights are turned on and I see that they will start to serve breakfast. Only then Baz starts moving and then he lifts his head.

“Sorry.” He says and I can see a blush on his reddish-gold skin. 

“That’s okay.” I smile. “It’s hard to find a comfortable position on those seats.” He nods. 

“Did you sleep?” He rubs his eyes before opening his window, but the light makes him shut it close again. 

“I did, probably before you. I don’t remember anything from the movie.” I laugh.

“Me neither.” 

I thought that maybe it could have a weird moment between us, but we just stopped talking to eat out breakfast, and then we went back to talking about our lives, getting to know each other better. 

The three hours to the end of the flight quickly changes into thirty minutes and then we are already starting to land. I was very anxious to get to London, but now I didn’t want to leave the plane. 

“So,” I start. “I was thinking …” I rub the back of my neck, nervous about bringing this out. “I will be here for the next month, right, so if it’s okay for you, we could grab a coffee or something like that, one of these days.” I always have a hard time talking when I have to say important things. “I mean, if you don’t want to, it's okay too …” 

“Snow.” He puts his hand on my arm. I kinda liked him calling me ‘Snow’. “I’d love to get a coffee with you.” I smile at him. 

“Really?” He nods, now smiling too. “Okay, then give me your phone.” He frowns in confusion but gives it to me.

I save my number on his phone and take a picture so I can save it together. Then I give my phone to him so he can do the same.

“Done, now we just have …” I start to say, but then we start to really land and I feel my heart on my throat. 

“Snow.” I have my eyes closed again, but I feel his hand on mine. “Just breathe like we were doing it before.” He starts to breathe in and out, so I open my eyes back and start to follow his rhythm. 

Soon we already are on the floor and I start to calm down.

“Thank you,” I say to Baz. 

“It was nothing.”

Everyone starts to stand and to move, but Baz and I don’t. We keep staring at each other, and I am already looking forward to seeing him again. 

When people start to leave the plane it’s when we move. I stand and Baz follows me, now that we were standing side by side, I notice that he’s a few inches taller than me. We move a bit awkwardly around each other until we leave the plane.

We walk into the airport in silence, we know that we have to say goodbye, but it’s like we don’t know how. 

“The flight was far better than I expected,” I tell him while we wait on the line to pass through the immigration control. 

“Indeed, it was.” He smiles. “I…” He starts to say something, but then it’s his turn on the immigration control and he just smiles at me again and goes. 

Only a few seconds later it’s my turn. It takes me a few minutes until they let me go, but when I turn around I don’t see Baz anymore. He doesn't seem to be still there, but he isn't anywhere around. 

I keep walking hoping to find him in baggage claim but he isn’t there either. I know that he has my number and I have his, but I wanted to give him a proper goodbye. 

It takes me a few minutes before deciding to leave, I really wanted to find Baz again, but probably he already left, so I decided to go. When we meet again, I’ll explain it to him. 

I take an uber and pass Penny’s address and text her so she can know that I’m on my way. When I finally get to Penny's address I’m almost sleeping already, so I just thank the driver and run to her building’s door. After climbing three flights of stairs, I reached Penny’s door. 

“Simon.” She yells when she opens the door, already throwing her arms around me.

“Hey, Penny, I missed you.” I hug her back. 

“I missed you too.” She steps back and looks at me like she’s checking if I’m okay. “Come on in.” She pulls me inside her flat and I look around. “Let me show you the flat and your room, come on.”

The flat it’s not big, but looks comfortable. She shows me everything, including the room I’ll be staying, where I drop my things.

“So, where’s Shep?” I ask when we sit on the sofa.

“He went to buy something for lunch. But tell me, how are you? The flight was good? Are you tired? You can rest if you want.” I laugh with her enthusiasm.

“Penny, breathe.” She laughs too. “I’m okay, the flight was …” I remember Baz and try not to blush. “Was very good, and I’m just a bit tired. But tell me, how are everything around here?”

I am not usually this rude, but when Penny starts to talk, my mind shuts down and I don’t pay attention to what she is saying. I don’t know if I am tired, or if I’m starting to feel the jet lag, or if I’m too busy trying to figure it out where Baz is now. I just know that I don’t hear anything that Penny says. 

“... and I would like you to meet this friend.” I look at her.

“I am sorry, what? What friend?” She rolls her eyes.

“Were you even paying attention?” I shrug and she rolls her eyes a second time. “I was saying that I am glad that you are here, especially because now I can introduce you to that friend of mine that I already talked about with you.”

“I don’t remember you mentioning any friend.” 

“Of course I did. I want to introduce you both since always, especially after I found out you were into boys too. I think you both are the perfect match.” I groan. 

“Penny, I don’t need you to be a matchmaker.” She wants to reply, but I cut her. “And I kinda already met someone.” I mean, I know that there’s nothing between Baz and me, but it could happen. And I am hoping that it does. 

“What? When? Where?”

“It is a bit recent. Like really recent.” She frowns. “I met him on the plane, okay? I know what you are thinking, but we connected in a way that I honestly can’t explain.” She shakes her head. “I know it sounds crazy, but I have his number and he has mine and I hope to go out with him while I am here.”

“I can’t believe this. Years of planning were destroyed with an eight hours flight?” 

“I mean, I still can be friends with this guy of yours.” She looks irritated when she looks back at me, but before she could reply the door opened. 

“Simon.” Shep greets me. “Long time no see.” I stand so I can hug him.

“And who’s fault is that? If you had not abandoned me in New York, we would be seeing each other a lot more.” I smile at him. 

“Well, I’m sorry dude, but between you and Penny, I had to choose her.” I laugh.

“I think I can forgive you.”

“So …” Shep starts, but looks at Penny, who’s still looking mad. “What happened?”

“Simon just ruined my plans.” I roll my eyes. 

“Don’t be dramatic,” I tell her. “Can we talk about that later? I am starving and now I’m starting to be a bit tired, and sleep sounds the best choice.” 

“Fine.” She huffs. “Let’s eat something and then you can sleep. And later we can make that dinner to celebrate that you are here, despite this disappointment I’m still happy that you came.”

“That sounds great and I’m very happy to be here too.” 

During lunch, Penny tries to make me talk about Baz, but I just tell her that I would tell everything later. And then I barely lay on the bed and I’m already sleeping. 

**Baz**

While I am going to my flat I can’t stop thinking about Simon. I lost him at the airport, I don’t know where he went, but I lost him and I couldn't keep waiting for him longer than I did. So, I had to leave. I hope to explain that to him when we meet again, I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.

Luckily we exchanged phone numbers before. If I hadn't got his number I would be pretty mad right now. The thought of not seeing him anymore was, surprisingly, sad. So, of course, I was really happy when he asked to see me again. 

My trail of thoughts is interrupted by the Uber driver who tells me that we arrived. I take my luggage out of the car and walk to my flat. Luckily my building has a lift, otherwise, it would be hard to go up with my heavy things.

I’m so tired that I don’t even bother to unpack anything. I just text Dev and Niall to let them know that I’m already home and then I fall on my bed. Only then I notice a text from Penny. 

**Penny (12:17):** Let me know when you get home again. I want to talk to you. 

I groan. Penny wanting to talk to me was never a good thing. 

Penelope Bunce has been my friend since school. We had studied together for a while, but it was only when we were fourteen that we became friends. She is smart, sarcastic, and fun in her own way, so she was perfect to be my friend.

The problem is, Penny likes to be a bit overprotective. If something is wrong with me, she tries to fix it, no matter what it is. So, when she says that she wants to ‘talk’ it's because to her something is wrong and she has to fix it. 

I don’t text her now, because if I do, she would call and we would spend long minutes talking, and I want to sleep so bad that my eyes are already closing, so I just turn my phone off and drop on my nightstand, and when my head touches the pillow I’m already sleeping. 

*********

When I wake up the sun is almost down. I feel a bit lost like it always happens when I sleep in the middle of the day, but I feel less tired than before. I check my phone and see that I slept for almost seven hours.

I go take a shower, because I’m feeling gross, but I almost sleep while I’m washing my hair. I don’t want to sleep again, so I go to my kitchen to make a coffee and while I wait, I know that I can’t postpone any longer, so I call Penny. 

“Basil.” She greets me. “How is New York going?”

“I don’t know, I left New York yesterday, I’m already in London.” 

“You are?” She sounds surprised and enthusiastic. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“It was kind of a last-minute decision.” I lie, if I had told Penny that I was coming back sooner, she would have tried to make me stay there, and enjoy a day free of work. “But what did you wanna talk to me about?”

“Do you wanna come over? We are having dinner and I think it would be better if we talked face to face.” There’s something on Penny’s voice, but I can’t figure out what it is. Amusement maybe?

“Penny, I’m tired of the flight, and tomorrow I have to go to Hampshire to have lunch with my family.”

“Baz, please, I promise that you will go back early.” Penny is usually insistent but there’s something more on this. 

“Why do you want me to go there so bad?” 

“It has to have a reason? I’m missing my friend and I want to see him. It’s that so bad?” I roll my eyes. And they say that I’m the dramatic one. 

“Fine, I’ll be there in some minutes, but I won’t stay too long.” 

“Fine by me, see you in a few.” I sense the smile on her voice. 

I honestly didn’t intend to leave my flat today. But I was a bit curious about what Penny wanted, so only because of that, I changed my clothes and went to Penny’s. 

It took me almost twenty minutes to reach her and Shep’s flat, and I barely knocked on the door and she was already opening to me and hugging me. 

“I really missed you, you know.” She tells me.

“I’ve been out only for a week.” I enter the flat. “Where’s Shep?” I ask when I notice the silence inside.

“They went out to buy wine.” She says with a smile on her voice.

“They?” This time she smiles at me.

“Do you remember when I told you about my friend that I wanted to introduce to you?” I try to remember but nothing comes to my mind.

“No.”

“Are you serious? I am always talking about him, my oldest friend who lives in America.” She did talk to me about him sometimes, but now I don’t remember anything about it.

“I might remember something, but what about him?” She smiles again.

“He’s here. Well, he’s out now with Shep, but he came from New York and I really want to introduce you both.” I groan.

“Penny, don’t tell me that you wanna play the matchmaker.” She huffs.

“I don’t. I just think that you both are perfect for each other and if it wasn’t…” I cut her.

“Penny,” She stops talking and looks at me. “I kind of already met someone.” I don’t know if Simon and I will have something, but I like to think that we will.

“What?” She looks outraged. “You also met someone? I can’t believe this. First, Simon and then you.” I just look at her outburst until something clicks on my mind.

“Wait, did you say Simon?”

Before she could say something the front door opened and I turned around. Shepard comes in first, but then I see bronze curls and the amazing blue eyes that I’ve been thinking about the whole day.

“Snow?” I ask, still surprised. 

Only then he looks at me.

“Baz?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what are your thoughts about the chapter?  
> Please, tell me if you are liking the story and the chapters.  
> Leave comments and kudos so I can know that you are liking it.  
> Thank you to everyone who is reading the fic.  
> Hope to see you soon ;)


	3. The heart wants what it wants

**Simon**

I can’t believe what I’m seeing. 

Baz is here. 

Baz is here, in Penny’s flat, standing in the middle of her living room, looking at me with an expression that must be similar to mine. 

I have been thinking about him the whole day. About his grey eyes looking so intensely at me, his hand holding mine when he helped me to calm down. About the faint blush on his cheeks. I even dreamed about him (not that I would tell him that).

And now he is here.

“What are you doing here?” I ask when I finally can think.

“What are you doing here?” He repeats my question.

“Penny and Shep are the friends I told you about. I’m staying with them.” I explain, stepping closer to him. “What about you?” I’m already smiling again.

“Penny and I have been friends since school, she invited me to dinner.” He’s smiling too now. 

“Wait,” Penny says, making both of us look at her. “How do you two know each other?”

“We met on the plane,” Baz explains and suddenly I feel myself blushing.

“Oh.” Penny almost yells and then starts to laugh. “Baz is the bloke you met on the plane.” She says looking at me. “And Simon is the bloke you met.” She says looking at Baz. 

“Yes.” We both answer her at the same time.

She looks at us for a couple of seconds and then starts to laugh again and goes to Shep and tells him.

“I told you. I was right in wanting to introduce them. I. WAS. RIGHT.” She keeps laughing, but we just look at her.

When Penny makes her plans she is a bit terrifying, but I can’t deny that she was right. She wanted to introduce Baz and I this whole time. But I’m happy how everything happened, with us meeting on the plane, that's better than if we had met because Penny set us up.

Penny is still talking to Shep, so I turn to Baz again and I realise that now we both are a bit embarrassed. So, I try to change the conversation a bit.

“I looked for you at the airport, but I couldn’t find you.” 

“Me too, after the immigration control you were nowhere around.” I nod. 

“I’m glad to see you again.” He smiles this time, but before he could reply, Penny comes back and throws her arm on my shoulders. (Or try to, because she is smaller than me).

“I’m sorry for this breakdown here. But let’s eat and talk more, shall we?” 

We sit on the dining table while Penny and Shep put the food in front of us. Neither of us says anything and Penny must see that because only a few seconds later, she’s already on our side again.

“So, Baz, how was the fashion week?” She asks.

“It was nice, but I only got to shoot the main brands, so I didn’t see the whole thing.” He shrugs.

“And how is Fiona?” 

“She is fine, like always, she drove me mad in a week, so, she's still the same.” Then he turns to me. “Fiona is my aunt that I told you about.” I nod. “She acts like a reckless teenager and that was always enough to drive me mad.” 

“And your father,” Penny adds. 

“And my father. He didn't trust her to take care of me when I was younger, but I probably would be okay in her hands. Even now he still worries, I am sure that tomorrow he will make an interrogation to know if I am okay.” 

“Speaking about fathers, how is your father, Si?” I see that Penny is trying to make us all interact, but I don't mind.

“Well, my father is my father.” I shrug. “You know how he is. I was surprised though that he went with me to the airport.”

“He did?” She sounds surprised.

“Yeah, probably to make sure that I wasn’t about to leave New York for good.”

“He really doesn't want to come back here?” Shep asks. “I thought that after your mom he would come back as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, at first I thought too, but he won’t come back.” I shake my head. “But I don’t know, he is weird. He closed himself more than before, so I don’t know what I can do to help. I don’t know if there is something I can do.”

“Sometimes the best thing that we can do is just let them go, to let them figure it out by themselves,” Baz says. “After my mother’s death, my father also was in a terrible state. He was seriously depressed for years if it wasn't for Fiona and then Daphne I don’t know what could have happened. But anyway, what I mean is that he didn't want any help in the first years, his family, and everyone around us tried to offer some help and he pushed everyone out. Only years later did he let himself feel and trust in someone else. But it’s still something hard for him.”

“I guess so. The thing is, my father was never really easy to deal with. When we found out that mum was sick, instead of staying with her, with us, he stayed away. He thought he was doing the right thing going after treatments and doctors, but mum just wanted him by her side. Her last months were terrible, and he wasn’t there for her.” I realise that I’m turned to Baz side now, but I don’t move. “I guess he feels a bit guilty because of that, and I did try to help. I tried to take him to therapy, and to groups that discuss grief and a lot of things, but he didn't want that help.”

“I guess you already tried your best. You can stop living your life because of him. I know that sounds selfish, but your mother wouldn't want you to do that.” He says.

“I know. Before, right after her death, I didn’t think about leaving New York anymore. I thought that I had to stay with him, and then when I did start to think about coming here again, I felt guilty. But I don’t feel that way anymore. He doesn't want to come and I don’t want to stay there, unfortunately, or not, our lives will be apart from each other.”

“You really shouldn’t feel guilty, Si,” Penny says and for a second I almost forgot that Baz and I weren’t alone. “You did your best, and your future is here, I feel that.” She holds my hand across the table. “I’m sure that the designing program will open a lot of doors to you here.” I smile and squeeze her hand.

“Hopefully it will.” She squeezes my hand back. “But let’s talk about happier things please.”

“We should go out tomorrow,” Shep says. “Go somewhere so you can start to get used to London again, everything is so different from New York.”

“Oh, I know, it’s been a while but I lived here for twelve years, why do you think I want to come back? A lot of things are better here.”

“Hey, it’s not like that too dude,” Shepard replies. “New York also has amazing things.”

“Then you shouldn't have trade New York for London.” I laugh when Penny rolls her eyes. 

“You never will stop talking about that?” He complains.

“Hell no, you left your best friend behind to move with your girlfriend, I will never stop talking about that.” I laugh again. 

“You both were friends in New York?” Baz asks, with an amusement look.

“Yes, we met at school, and he became my best friend,” Penny coughs. “Sorry, he became my second best friend, and then one day Penny went to visit me in the summer and then boom, they fell in love.” I look at them pretending to be mad and then look back at Baz. “Months later Shepard comes to me to tell me that he was leaving in a week to move with Penny. A week.” I emphasize the last part looking at them again.

“Dramatic,” Penny complains.

“I am the dramatic one? Are you sure? Do you want me to start to remind you of some things?” She rolls her eyes again, but I can see that she wants to smile. 

“Can I add things to this list?” Baz asks, also smiling. 

“Oh, you don’t have the right to say that I am dramatic, okay?” Penny says to Baz. “You are the most dramatic person that I know.” It’s his time to roll his eyes. 

“Let me guess,” I say, remembering our talk on the plane. “Penny was the friend who told you that thing about your name being posh?” I ask Baz.

“Totally right guess.” He’s about to say something, but then his phone rings. “Oh, shit, I have to go. I have to go to Hampshire tomorrow morning and I still want to start editing some photos before I go to sleep.” He tells us. 

“Hampshire?” I ask.

“My parents' house, I try to have lunch with them all Sundays.” He explains.

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“Okay then, I’m releasing you,” Penny says to Baz. “But only if you promise that you won’t disappear.”

“See? Dramatic. I am always here.” He smiles. “Now I’m leaving, thank you for the dinner,” He stands. “I will talk to you guys later, okay?” He looks at me and I feel Penny and Shep’s eyes on us.

“Okay.” I nod to him. “Have a good night.” 

“You too.” He smiles at me and then leaves.

We stay in silence for like a minute maybe after Baz closes the door, but then my irritating friends turn back to me. 

“Okay,” Penny says. “There’s something here, and I have to say that I called it. I always knew that you guys were perfect for each other.”

“Penny we met like 24 hours ago, so let’s not rush into these thoughts okay?” I stand from the table too. 

We cleaned the kitchen with Penny still making thousands of assumptions and questions about Baz and me. She only gave up almost half an hour later, when I went to sleep and only because she saw how tired I was.

Before really sleeping I look into my phone for the first time in the day and see texts from Baz, which already makes my heart beat faster.

**Baz (21:30):** Hey, Snow.

**Baz (21:30):** It’s Baz.

**Baz (21:31):** We didn't get the chance to be alone tonight, but I wanted to tell you that I was really happy to see you again. 

**Baz (21:31):** And I hope to see you more while you are here.

**Baz (21:31):** Good night.

The smile is almost carved on my face, I read and reread the text a lot of times. Knowing that Baz is feeling the same that I am (even if I don’t know what I am feeling), leaves me extremely happy.

After I don’t know how long, I answer him and fall asleep faster than I thought I would. 

**Baz**

My plans for last night, after the dinner full of surprises, was to start editing the photos, but I walked in my flat, and I felt so tired that I just wanted to sleep. And then, I don’t know why I sent those texts to Snow. I told him the truth, but I don’t know why I texted him, I could blame the tiredness or the jet lag.

I just... I don’t know. I saw him and talked to him, but with Penny and Shepard there I felt like it was different, I wanted to be just us and I wanted to tell him that.

So, after the texts, I fell on my bed and slept the whole night. 

When I woke up the next day my head was heavy, almost like I was hungover, and as soon as I remember the texts I sent Snow last night, I feel embarrassed. I was never the kind of person who does that, who texts and shows feelings. But the embarrassment goes away when I take my phone and see that he replied to my texts.

**Simon (22:15):** hey, Baz

**Simon (22:15):** i was really happy in seeing you again too

**Simon (22:15):** it’s nice to know that we would have met even if we weren’t sitting next to each other in the plane 

**Simon (22:16):** but I’m happy that we did meet that way, without any interferences 

**Simon (22:16):** hope to see you again too

**Simon (22:16):** anyway, I’m going to sleep now, but have a nice day with your family

**Simon (22:17):** goodnight

He answered my texts. And he doesn't seem to think that I’m too desperate. He liked to see me too and wants to see me again. I’m fine with that. I’m great with that. My shame is already buried inside my mind.

I want to answer his texts right away, but I’ll let to do it later. I don’t want to look even more desperate than I already look. 

The drive to Hampshire is longer than the usual, but that could be because I was not in the mood to spend the day with my family. I was missing them, especially the little monsters I call brothers, but today I wanted to stay at home, editing photos and pining over Simon.

The children come to greet me right after I stop the car, they hug me and say that they were missing me, but in reality, they just want to know if I bought them gifts from New York. 

We have a pleasant morning, my parents just ask me how New York was and how Fiona was. This time I try not to say anything bad because I don’t want to give more arguments to my father against my aunt. 

I’m so involved with the conversation and with the kids, that is already lunchtime when I answer Simon’s texts.

**Baz (12:15):** Good morning, Snow.

**Baz (12:15):** Thank you, I’m having a really good day with my family, except for the little demons, also known as my siblings. They are driving me insane.

**Baz (12:17):** Oh, and I liked that we met without interference too. 

I keep looking at my phone for a couple of seconds, waiting to see if Simon will reply. But then I give up and go to the dining room to eat with my family. 

I feel tempted to look at my phone when I feel it ringing at my pocket, but everyone is still eating and it has the big chance of being Dev or Niall, so I control myself and finish lunch first. I wait ten seconds after I leave the table, and then I take my phone and see, with a grin already on my face that it was Simon. 

**Simon (12:30):** good morning Baz

**Simon (12:31):** well i’m having to deal with Penny wanting to know everything you and i talked about 

**Simon (12:31):** and she is very insistent, it’s annoying actually, sometimes she’s worse than kids

**Simon (12:31):** not that your brothers are annoying

**Simon (12:31):** just you know kids in general 

I smile with his texts, I can, in fact, imagine him stumbling on his words. 

**Baz (13:05):** Don’t worry, my brothers are annoying most of the time

**Baz (13:06):** And I know how bad Penny can get when she is determined, so I’m sorry.

**Simon (13:06):** well i found a way to deflect her attention

**Simon (13:06):** i just say something about the designing classes or ask about her job and then she changes the subject

I know I’m smiling at my phone, but even so, I’m surprised when Daphne stops at my side and asks. 

“Why are you smiling at your phone?” She has a smile on her face.

“Oh.” I see my father’s attention on us. “I’m just texting.” 

“Have you met someone?” She keeps asking. 

“Uh…” My father’s attention is all on me now. “Something like that. But we are just texting.” I shrug, trying to be casual.

Before Daphne could say something else, I leave the room and go to stay with my siblings. 

**Baz (13:19):** I’m not sure that I believe that Penny can be easily distracted, but I’m going to take your word for it.

**Baz (13:19):** I have to take care of my siblings now, but can we talk later?

Actually, I just didn't want my parents to keep asking things, it would be easier to text him after I get home, so I could smile like a fool as much as I wanted.

**Simon (13:21):** of course, go stay with your brothers

**Simon (13:21):** talk to you later 

It takes me some minutes to stop thinking about Simon, but eventually, I do turn him off from my thoughts and focus on my family. I still see Daphne and my father looking in my direction, but none of them asks anything else. 

It’s the middle of the afternoon when I leave, I really want to start working on the photos so I can’t get home too late. I’m entering my car when my phone rings.

“Just because you went to New York for a week, doesn't mean that you have to forget your friends.” It’s how Dev greets me. 

“I texted you yesterday, and I’ll see you tomorrow so don’t start the drama please.”

“I’m not making drama.” He complains. “Come over, we will have pizza and drinks.”

“No, thank you. I’m leaving Hampshire now, and I have to unpack my things and start to work on the photos of the fashion week.” I can imagine that he is already huffing and rolling his eyes.

“You are a mood killer.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you already told me that before. I have to drive now, but I talk to you later. And stop complaining to Niall.” I hung up before he could say anything else. 

*********

People usually complain about Mondays and having to work, but I never had problems with that. I love my work, I don’t have to stay in the office the whole day and everything it’s unpredictable, I can go take pictures at some studio or in the park. 

So, I’m very happy about leaving my flat on Monday morning. Of course that it’s not only because of my job, actually it has more to do about a certain blue-eyed bloke. 

Snow and I texted a lot last night after I had unpacked my things and edited half of the photos. He asked me about my day, I asked about his and we only said good night when I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. 

In the morning, I buy four coffees and head to Penny’s. Sometimes, I buy coffee and take it to Penny and we walk together for work, especially when we have some gossip. But today I’m going there because of Snow, of course, I wanted to give him good luck before he goes to his classes. 

I’m almost in front of her building when the door opens and Snow leaves, he’s looking at his phone, so he doesn’t see me until I’m in front of him. 

“Hey.” He smiles when he sees me. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, I came to bring coffee to all of you, and to wish you luck on your first day of classes.” I look around. “Where are Penny and Shepard?” I ask.

“Oh, they left earlier, Penny said something about having to help a colleague and they left. But I will take this coffee.” He laughs and I give him the coffee.

“Nervous about the classes?” He nods.

“Yeah, but it's a good kind of nervous, you know.” He sips his coffee. “Where do you work?” 

“Just ten minutes from here, it’s close, that’s why I pass here sometimes to talk to Penny before work.” 

“Can we walk then? I still have to take the tube and I don’t want to be late.” I nod. 

“Of course, there is a tube station on the way.” We walk for a while in silence.

“What will you do with the other coffees?” He asks, pointing at the cups on my hand. 

“Oh, I guess my two irritating friends will get free coffees.” Not that Dev deserves something for free. 

“Who are they?” 

“One of them is my cousin, Dev and the other one is Niall, the three of us grew up together, and now we work together at the magazine too.” I take a sip from my coffee.

“You told me about them before, they are together right?” I nod.

“They are. It was a shock at first, especially because they didn't tell me, I caught them together, in a very … intimate moment.” Snow laughs.

“Oh my god, I would have died with embarrassment.” I laugh too.

“I almost did. Now it’s a fun story Dev likes to tell to other people.” Dev likes to embarrass everyone and he has a thing for embarrassing me. “But it’s funny, now I can’t imagine them not being together.” He nods. 

“I know how it feels, when Penny and Shep started going out I thought it was very weird, but now I don’t know how to picture them apart from each other.” 

“Did you know her other boyfriend?” I ask him, remembering Penny's old boyfriend.

“Yeah, we studied together, but we weren't very close. Anyway, she did meet him because of me, and I had to keep seeing his face after they broke up. It was hard not to walk over him and punch his face, he was a real dick with Pen but she made me promise that I wouldn't interfere.” He shrugs. 

“I remember how bad she was after they broke up. I wanted to punch her ex and I even had met him.” 

“Yeah, luckily she got over him, and months later she met Shepard. I think it’s safe to say that she has a thing for Americans.” We laugh.

“I guess so.” We reach the tube station. “You know where to go?” I ask him.

“Yeah, Penny showed me yesterday, so I guess I’m good to go.” He’s smiling, but I can see that he’s nervous.

“Don’t be nervous, I’m sure the class will be great.” He nods. “I have to go, I am almost on my time,” I say, checking the hour.

“Yeah, I’m going too. Can I text you during the day?” That makes me smile.

“Of course. Maybe I won’t be able to answer you right away, but you can text me.” His smile gets wider.

“Okay, then. See you later.” He steps away and waves a bit awkwardly at me.

“Good luck on your first day,” I tell him.

“Thank you, have a nice day of work.” He almost stumbles on some woman that was passing, so I just wave at him too and then he disappears. 

What was happening to me? How this man that I just met is already messing with my head? I honestly just wanted to keep talking to him the whole day, b ut I turn around and go back walking. 

I reach the building where I work in a couple of minutes and find Dev and Niall talking close to the entrance. 

“I can’t believe what I am seeing,” Dev says when he sees me. “Look babe, that bloke looks like my cousin, but I am not sure because I haven’t seen him in a while.” I roll my eyes and see Niall doing the same, but Dev just laughs.

“It’s still hard to believe that I am related to a moron like you,” I look at Dev. “And honestly I have a bit less of respect for you,” I say to Niall, while I give them the coffees.

“Sometimes I think the same thing,” Niall says.

“Hey, I’m still here okay?” Dev complains. “And I know that you both love me, so don’t need to pretend.”

“How was New York?” Niall asks, ignoring Dev.

I tell them about the fashion week and Fiona. They (especially Dev) keep asking me about what I did for fun in New York and about all the blokes that they think I met. Dev starts giving a speech about how I am terrible at having fun, and how I don’t know how to enjoy my life as a single man when my phone rings at my pocket.

I take it, happy to have an excuse to ignore my cousin, but when I see who texted me I even forget about the moron speaking in front of me.

**Simon (08:54):** just to let you know that i didn’t get lost 

**Simon (08:54):** i’m already sitting on my desk here and i’m feeling like i’m on my first day of school

**Simon (08:54):** and i’m so nervous because i don’t know anyone here and i’m terrible in making new friends

**Simon (08:55):** i wish it was easy to talk to strange people as it was to talk to you

**Simon (08:55):** i mean i don’t really wish that because then our conversation on the plane would be less special

**Simon (08:56):** oh my god

**Simon (08:56):** forget everything that i sent before

I even realised that I started smiling until I heard Dev saying.

“Oh my god, Niall, babe, tell me that you are seeing what I am seeing.” He says. “Baz is smiling at his phone.” I look up and see them both staring at me with smiles on their faces.

“Can’t I smile at my phone now?’

“You can,” Niall says. “But there is a difference in smiling at something funny that someone sent to you and smiling at something cute a crush sent to you.” Dev points to Niall.

“Exactly, babe.” He turns to me. “So, have you met someone?” His smirk makes me roll my eyes again, but I know I won’t be able to hide Simon from them, so I decide to tell them anyway.

“Something like that.” Dev claps his hands as a four years old kid. “His name is Simon and I met him on the plane coming here, he sat by my side. We talked a lot and when we were landing he asked for my phone number so we could meet another day. But then later I went to Penny’s house for dinner and found out that Simon is her best friend and is here visiting her.”

“Uhhhh, destiny.” Dev keeps clapping his hands. “So, you and Bunce’s best friend are texting now?” I nod. “And when are you going on a date with him?”

“We just met, I want to wait a bit before asking him out.”

“Why?” Dev asks. “You never talk to strange people, and I’ve never seen you with that smile like two minutes ago. Even with the one who must not be named.” Niall shakes his head with the mention of my ex, but he’s smiling. “He asked for your number so he clearly wants to go out with you, so what’s the problem?”

“Because he’s Penny’s friend, that changes things. What if we go out and things get weird, or if we try to start something and it doesn't work? Penelope is my friend and I don’t want to ruin my friendship with her because of a bloke that I just met. So, I will take more a few days to decide if I want to risk it.”

“That seems logical, but in the end, you’re just afraid, because you know that this thing you both have can lead to something serious and important.” I think I never heard Dev saying something with that much sense. 

“Whatever,” I shrug. “Let’s talk about that later, we’re already late for work.”

We walk into the building, but I keep thinking about Dev’s words. He was right. My last relationship ended in not a good way. And, of course, I was afraid of being involved and getting hurt again. But what I said was true too, Simon wanted to move in here, what if things end badly to us and I have to stop being friends with Penny and Shepard because of him?

But at the same time, I had this feeling that Simon was worth the risk, and a part of me wanted to take that risk. 

**Simon**

The classes of the morning passed like a blur. They tell us so many things, and we do so many things that I don’t see the time pass. I even have time to think about that crap that I sent to Baz. 

I honestly wasn't thinking, I just talked to him what it was in my head and then when I saw it, I already had said too much. The good thing (or bad thing) was that the class started and I didn't see if Baz had replied to the texts. I didn’t want to scare him, and now he must think that I am a crazy bloke who rushes into things. 

When the teacher clears us to have lunch, my hands are already hurting from all the writing and drawing that we did. But I was happy, the whole morning I felt so good that I was sure that I was on the right path to a profession that I loved.

I’m not very far from Penny’s, but we didn't have much time, so I just went to the coffee close to the building I was, and bought a sandwich, I took my phone out while I was eating and my heart raced on my chest when I saw that I had texts from Baz. 

**Baz (09:10):** Don’t worry, I am also terrible at making friends. 

**Baz (09:10):** And I also think that our conversation on the plane was special.

**Baz (09:12):** I have to work now, but I talk to you later. Have a good class.

I’m sure that if someone is looking at me now, I must be looking ridiculous. I’m smiling so much at my phone that my cheeks are almost hurting. But I don’t care. Baz doesn't think that I am crazy or desperate or anything like that. He agrees with me.

I don’t know what to say to him, so I decide to text him later after the classes, and then I have more time to think about what I will say to him. 

The afternoon classes are better than the morning ones, and again I’m so involved with what I’m doing and learning that the hours seem to fly. We won’t have a full day of classes the whole week, only Monday and Wednesday. Tuesday and Thursday we would have class until 2 p.m and on Friday only in the morning.

I was glad about that schedule, I would have lots of hours of classes to learn, but also a lot of free time to see London, and my friends. And Baz, of course. 

It’s almost five when I get to Penny’s. And I was lucky that she left me with a key because neither she nor Shep were at home yet. 

I take a long shower and sit on the sofa, already with my phone in hands, wanting to talk to Baz again.

**Simon (17:35):** just got back from my first day of classes and it was incredible

**Simon (17:35):** and i’m glad im not the only one that thinks that about our conversation

**Simon (17:35):** anyway, how was work? 

**Simon (17:36):** will i eventually see your pictures?

I’m looking at my phone, expecting it to ring with a new text from Baz, but nothing new pops on my screen. I try to watch something on TV while Baz doesn't answer me and a few minutes later I hear the sound of the key on the door and Penny comes in. 

“Hey,” She smiles at me and comes running onto the sofa. “How was your day? How were the classes?” Her enthusiasm makes me smile.

“It was great. I loved every detail of the classes, seriously it was amazing. I can’t wait for the rest of it, I know I will learn a lot from these classes.” I can’t stop smiling now. 

“That’s amazing Si. And they said something about job offers?” I shake my head.

“No, but they told us that they have connections with the best design companies of the country and even of other countries too and if we need a recommendation or something like that they will help.”

“That sounds great.” I nod. “I really can’t wait for you to be back here for good.” She lays her head on my shoulder.

“Me too Pen.” 

“And I’m very glad to have you here. I missed you a lot.” I smile again.

“Me too, I know it’s already been twelve years since I left, but I never got used to not having you by my side.”

“I know. And it’s understandable, I mean we both were together since before we were born. It’s almost like we are twins of different parents with different birthdays.” I laugh.

“That it’s true. I always felt like our friendship was different because of that you know? Like our mothers were best friends, so I really feel like we grew up as brothers.”

“Yeah, me too.” We stay in silence until she talks again. “Now tell me,” She raises her head and looks at me. “Have you spoken with Baz today?” She is smirking at me, so I just roll my eyes, but I smile too.

“I did.” She cheers. “He came here this morning, brought coffee to all of us, but since it was just me he took his extra coffees to his friends. Anyway, we walked together till the tube station and we texted a bit this afternoon.” She is smiling at me.

“I know that I already talked a lot about that, but I am happy that you both are talking. And I have to say that I never saw you like this, even when you were dating Agatha or pining over that boy in college.” We laugh remembering those days. “I don’t know how to explain, I always thought that you both would be great together, but seeing you both together talking that night just made me see that I was damn right.” I laugh again.

“And you’re always right.” She nods.

“Hell yeah, I am.” We laugh again. “But seriously, when will you ask him on a date?” The question that I was thinking all the time now. 

“I don’t know.” I shake my head. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t like him, you listened to me talk about him even before you knew who he was, so I do like him. And I really never felt so connected with someone as I feel with him, which is crazy because I just met him.” She smiled again. 

“So, what’s the problem?”

“What if we are rushing into something? We barely know each other.”

“Simon.” Penny is using the tone of voice that she uses when she thinks I’m being stupid. “We are talking about going out on a date, not getting married. You don’t have to know him to go on a date, that’s what dates are for.”

“I know, but this is different okay? Because I think that this could lead to something important to me, maybe to him too, or this might end terribly.” I shrug.

“So, you won’t even try because you are too afraid of it?” I feel the weight on her words.

“I didn't say that, I will just take a few more days to see it.”

She seems to want to say something more, but then Shepard comes in and our talk is forgotten, at least for the time being.

But Penny’s words were on my mind. I already knew that I was letting the fear speak higher, but it was not just the fear of not working, but also the opposite. I just dated one girl years ago, and then I had a few dates, but nothing important, nothing serious enough. I never even fell in love before, I know that what I felt for my ex was not love, so I was afraid.

But I knew I was being ridiculous, I couldn't not try something only for fear. I would have to risk it, and I was feeling that Baz was worth the risk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter into this story, so tell me if you're liking it so far.  
> I confess that I am a bit disappointed because there are a good number of people reading it, but there are almost none comments and low kudos, so I don't know if you are liking it or not.  
> I will keep writing because I am loving to write this story, but I would like to know what you are thinking about it if there's something I can improve.   
> That's all for today. Thank you to everyone who is reading and leaving comments and kudos.  
> I'll try to be back soon.


	4. Thinking out loud

**Baz**

The next two days are insane. I have so much work to do that I almost don’t stop. Besides the photos of the fashion week, I have more three photoshoots to do and then I have to edit the photos as well.

I don’t leave home unless it was to work, and I barely saw any of my friends, even though I work with two of them. And because of that, I hadn't seen Snow anymore too. I knew he was very busy with his classes and I was busy with my work, so we didn't have the time to see each other.

But we did text a lot on these last two days. Every time I have a break, I take my phone to text something or to answer him about some question, and I have to say that things are getting better. Not that they weren't good before, but it seems that each day that passes we get closer, even though we are just texting.

I feel like I can talk to him about anything, and I’m sure that he thinks the same. We already talked about so many different things that it’s like I have known him my entire life. But I still haven't asked him out, and he didn't either. 

I thought a lot about what Dev said, about not asking him out because I was afraid of being hurt, and that is true but I really want to go out with him, to try something with him, so I made up my mind and I decided that I will call him for a date on Friday if he doesn't ask me before. 

But I hope he doesn't. He already gave the first step when he asked for my number, I wanted to give the other step now. 

“Hey,” Dev appears on my desk. “We are going to drink something, wanna join us?” 

“Sorry, I can’t go. I have a lot of things to do. Nico wants all the photos from last night for tomorrow, and I even looked at the pictures yet.” 

“Okay then, I was already expecting this, but I still had hope.” He laughs. “I see you tomorrow then.” I nod to him and go back to my computer. 

I wanted to stay in the office for at least one more hour before going home because here it was easier to have a focus and to do my job. If I went home I knew that I would want to keep texting Snow and wouldn't do what I had to do.

So, I kept myself focused and worked for another one hour and a half until I saw that I was almost the last one in the office and decided to leave. My boss wasn't in the office anymore, so I just turned my computer off and left. 

I didn’t look at my phone, because I knew that it would have texts from Snow and I wanted to see it only at home, but when it started ringing I couldn't keep ignoring anymore. I see Penny’s name at my screen, I groan and decide to ignore her call and return to her later.

I could already imagine what she wanted to say to me. It was already Wednesday and Simon and I were still only texting. But she would have to wait a little longer. Just a little longer.

I've only set a foot inside my flat when my phone rings again, and again, I see Penny’s name on the screen. I think for a second if I should ignore her again, but I know it will be worse later, so I take the call.

“Hey, are you still at work?” She asks,

“I was. I just entered my flat, but I’ll be working until very late, why?”

“Oh, I wanted to invite you for dinner tonight.” She says.

“Oh,” I’m kinda divided, I should stay at home and work, but I wanted to see Simon again. “It would be nice to have a break, but I really need to finish some things for tomorrow morning.”

“Can we go to your flat then? You can keep doing your things, and we won’t stay for too long, but at least you can take a break.” I don’t know if Penny is plotting something or if she is just really trying to be nice. “We can take a pizza on our way to your place.”

“Okay, I think it would be nice for you to come in. I just really have to keep working.”

“It’s fine, we will be there in thirty or forty minutes then.” She hung up before I could take it back.

I don’t waste a minute, I go take a shower and then I check to see if everything is in order. The flat was always clean (I hate mess) but I wanted to check it. When I see that everything is okay, I take my laptop and bring it to the living room so I could stay with my friends while still working.

While I’m waiting for my laptop to turn on, I take my phone to see Snow’s texts.

**Simon (14:35):** okay, i still can’t believe that you like pumpkin mocha breve more than a regular and black coffee

**Simon (14:35):** i mean, you look exactly the kind of person who would like a black and sugarless coffee

We were discussing different types of coffee over lunch and apparently he hadn't got over it. 

**Simon (14:36):** anyway, i will have to go back in a few

**Simon (14:36):** but i still want to try that fancy coffee to see if you have a good taste

**Simon (16:57):** i think im close to punching a bloke that is in class with me

**Simon (16:57):** he thinks he is better than everyone in the class and hes not that good

**Simon (16:57):** im better than him and im not that good

**Simon (16:58):** i mean, im good, im not trying to go with false modesty here, but there are more talented people in that class

**Simon (16:58):** seriously, he keeps interrupting the teacher all the time

**Simon (16:58):** and when i had a question, he didnt let the teacher explain to me, just leaned over my table and started explaining

**Simon (16:58):** but he explained it all wrong

**Simon (16:59):** anyway, i just want to punch his face

**Simon (17:02):** i just saw the number of texts i sent you and im a bit embarrassed now

**Simon (17:03):** sorry for that

I’m smiling at my phone again because Simon clearly has that power over me, he is not even flirting, just telling me what is happening in his class and I’m already looking like an idiot staring at my phone. 

I’m about to text him back when I hear a knock on my door. I let my laptop on top of the kitchen counter and go open the door and find Penny, Shep and Snow laughing at something that I don’t know.

“Good night Basil.” Penny greets me, already going into my flat.

“How are you, dude?” Shep asks and follows his girlfriend. 

And then there is Simon. He is still smiling, but now his cheeks are in a loving tone of red.

“Hey.” He says, the smile still playing on his lips, but I can see that he’s a bit tense. 

“Hey, come on in.” I step aside so he can come inside. “I was just about to text you back, but I think you are correct in wanting to punch that bloke. I’d do it if I was in your place.” He seems to relax.

“Right? He is the worst, seriously, every day we have to listen to him brag over things that I’m sure that is a lie. I don’t see any other reason for him to be there other than his family money.” He shrugs.

“Maybe, but not all people who came from money are like that.” I defend myself.

“He has to say that, he is one of these people,” Penelope says trying to throw her arm over my shoulders.

“I am, but I’m still good at my job, I didn't have to pay to get any job I wanted,” I argue again while she rolls her eyes.

“Well, I’d like to see proof, until I get to see your pictures I’m gonna think that you’re just like the brat who annoys me every day.” Snow says with a smirk. “Not that you annoy me. Or that you’re a brat.” He completes and I huff a laugh.

“I can show you later, now let’s eat that I’m starving.”

Shepard is already putting the plates on my table and Penny follows him, but I turn back to Snow.

“And tomorrow I will bring you pumpkin mocha breve and I dare you to not like it.” He smiles again.

“Okay, I’ll do my best to like your posh drink.” I roll my eyes and he laughs. Crowley, he’s gorgeous.

We eat pizza and talk about a lot of things. I feel Penny and Shep’s eyes on Simon and me, but I try to ignore it. 

Now I know that I really need to call him on a date, I need it to get some time with him without the nosey couple looking at us. 

Some minutes after that I take my laptop and start to work on the photos while I talk to them. I start to get so concentrated that I don’t realize that the conversation stopped.

“You look very focused.” Snow says, making me look at him. Only then I see that Penelope and Shepard left the table and were now looking through my things at the living room. I roll my eyes at them but then turn to Simon again.

“I am, I’m sorry. I even realized that the talk had stopped.” He laughs.

“So, can I see your photos?” 

“Come here.” I pull my chair to the side so he can put his chair closer. “This was a photoshoot we did yesterday. The magazine will make an article about the new collection of a famous stylist and I took photos of a part of the collection.” I swipe the photos so he can see.

“Baz, these are amazing photos.” He’s looking at the laptop. “I guess not all people who come from money are talentless.” He laughs making me laugh too.

“Well, I still have to edit the pictures, but yeah, I liked a lot of this photoshoot.”

“You only take pictures of models?” He asks.

“No, but almost always. The magazine is not only about fashion, but it’s the major subject.” I shrug.

“Well, I’m not an expert about fashion or pictures, but you are really good.” He smiles.

“Thank you.” I smile too. “When will I see something that you drew?”

“Anytime, I have some drawings on Penny’s. But I already told you, I am not good like really good, I’m just good enough.” He laughs with his own words.

“That’s a lie, Simon is really good,” Penny yells over the living room, and I raise my eyebrow at her, was she listening to our conversation?

“Stop eavesdropping.” Snow says, but he’s still smiling. Penny only rolls her eyes and turns back to Shepard. 

"Well, now I think that I'll have to see it to decide who is right." 

"Sounds fair." We smile at each other. I don't think I've ever smiled so much as in these last days. 

I look away because I don't want Penelope or Shepard to caught us. Not that we are doing something. We were just staring and smiling at each other. But I bet Penny could read in my face and see everything I’m feeling. Even though I’m not sure of what I am feeling.

“It’s getting late,” Penny says coming to my side. “I know you have work to do, so maybe we should get going.”

“That’s okay, you can stay if you want to, I just can't give you too much attention now.” She shakes her head.

“It's fine, I just didn't want you to have dinner alone again. And now that we already made company to you and I saw that you are still alive and well, we can go.” Penny is very dramatic. “Just promise that we will see you this weekend.”

“You will.” She smiles. “I’ll try not to work on Saturday and Sunday.”

“Great, let’s go then.” She turns to Shepard and Simon stands.

“It was great to see you again.” I stand too and now we are too close, so I step back. “And I’ll wait for the fancy coffee.” He smiles.

“I will take the coffee to you tomorrow, and it was great to see you too.” We stand awkwardly facing each other for a few seconds until Penny opens the door and the noise makes us look at her and then go walking to the door. “Thank you for coming, and I won't forget you Penny, don’t worry.” She smiles.

“Thank you for having us, come on boys.” She says already turning and leaving.

“Night Baz,” Shep says before following his girlfriend.

“Good night, I see you tomorrow with coffee then.” Snow says and I nod.

“And with the drawings, don’t forget that.” He smiles.

“Okay, I won’t. Good night.” He smiles one more time and then leaves.

I close my door thinking about his smile and this thing happening between us. I don’t know what is happening, but I like it. I think I never have been through something like that. 

I already went on lots of dates and had a couple of boyfriends, but this is different. I don’t think I ever had this phase of flirting and talking with someone. And I’m liking this. I’m liking this too much. 

I’m sitting on my chair when someone knocks on my door. I look around and see that Penny forgot her jacket on my sofa so I take it and open the door finding her on the other side.

“Thanks, I’m always forgetting something.” She laughs, but she doesn't leave again, she actually leans against my door frame.

“The boys are not waiting for you?”

“They are, but I need to talk to you quickly about something.” I blink at her. “When will you call Simon on a date?” 

“Have you left your jacket here on purpose?”

“Maybe.” She shrugs. “Come on, it’s been five days that you both have been flirting and looking at each other with heart in your eyes.” I roll my eyes. “So, stop stalling and ask him out.”

“I will tell you this only because I want you to stop annoying me and I’m sure that Simon too.” She looks at me expectantly. “Tomorrow I will ask him out.” She smiles and claps her hands. 

“Thank god.” 

“Now can you leave?” She nods.

“Yes, and good luck.” She turns away.

“Don’t tell him,” I shout at her.

“Of course I won't, I’m not an idiot.” She waves at me and then she is gone.

Now there wasn’t coming back. I had to ask Simon out otherwise Penny wouldn't stop annoying me. But that was good because I could still find some way to postpone this. So, now I had to ask him out.

I told him that I would take coffee to him tomorrow, then I would do it. I’m already planning the words on my head. But I’m sure that at the time I will forget it all. That’s fine, I just have to ask him to go on a date with me. It was easy.

But of course, easier said than done. 

**Simon**

Penny is happier when we go back to their flat, but I don’t know why. She seems to be plotting something, but I’m too tired to start to think about theories.

Once we are back at the flat, I tell them goodnight and go to my room. I didn’t want to sleep yet, but I wanted to be a bit alone and I knew that Penny would start asking me again about Baz and our date.

I thought about what she said and I was convinced in asking him out, I just need to have the courage and ask at once. Maybe I’ll ask tomorrow morning when he will bring the coffee. I just need to think in the right words and rehearse a bit, otherwise, I will stumble on the words. Not that I wouldn't even if I rehearsed. 

I’m so lost on my thoughts and in my rehearsed speech that I get scared when my phone rings on top of me.

**Baz (22:45):** I forgot to say before, but you don’t have to be embarrassed about the number of texts you sent.

**Baz (22:45):** I like it.

**Baz (22:45):** I like to read your texts, so keep sending it.

**Baz (22:45):** Good night, Simon.

After five minutes my cheeks start to hurt from all the smiling I have been doing. I honestly don’t understand why Baz was messing with my thoughts like this. This was all new to me.

Agatha, my ex-girlfriend, and I were friends for a while before we started to date, we were both fifteen and after spending some time wondering if she would accept going out with me, I finally asked and we started dating after that. 

And the people I went on dates after we broke up, were friends of friends, or people that I got to know through dating apps. So, I never had anything like this. The flirting (at least I think we are flirting), the texting, the butterflies in my stomach, everything really. I never felt like this, and that’s insane.

I try to think about other things so I can sleep, but my mind keeps going back to Baz and to everything we talked about. So, of course, I dream about him all night long. 

*********

I wake up anxious for the day. Today I would stay in class until 2 p.m and then I would explore the city and get to know again this place that I loved so much. The only bad thing was that I would go alone because everyone else would be working, but I was okay with that. 

I already had planned my whole day. I wouldn't even come back to Penny’s flat after the classes, and I intended to come back only at night. I wanted to enjoy London. 

Penny is waiting for me at her kitchen with freshly baked scones, Shepard already left for work so it's just the two of us. I thought that it was an excuse so she could start asking me again about Baz, but she doesn’t. She even mentioned him, we just talked about my plans for the day and our plans until the end of my month here. 

We leave the flat, but Penny forgot some book or notebook, so she goes back inside to look for it and I go outside to wait for her. I step on the sidewalk in time to see Baz coming in my way.

“A promise is a promise.” He says, giving me a cup.

“I’m a bit worried about how this is going to taste,” I tell him with a smile and he rolls his eyes (He does that a lot) (I like it, it’s a bit hot). 

“Just drink it.” He smiles this time.

I smell the cup, but it’s not bad, so I take a sip of it. It doesn't taste bad either, but there is a lot of sugar on the drink.

“Oh my god, how do you drink something so sweet?” I ask him. “It’s not bad, but too sweet to me.”

“There is no such thing as too sweet.” He takes the cup back. “Here, I knew you wouldn't like it.” He smiles and gives me another cup. “It’s a cappuccino.” He points at the cup on my hand.

“Much better,” I say after taking a sip and he rolls his eyes again drinking from his drink. 

“You have no taste.” He complains, but he’s smiling again. “So, do I get to see your drawings now?”

“Oh, right. I forgot it in my room, but I have a few sketches that we are doing in class, just a second.” I give him the cup on my hand so he can hold it to me and I take my notebook. “Here.” I take my cup back and hand him the notebook. “These are just sketches,” I say again.

“These are great.” He says flipping through the pages. “You are really good, Penelope was right.”

“Thanks.” I feel my cheeks burning, I have a real problem in receiving compliments, especially of someone that I like.

“You have a lot of talent, I’m sure that soon some big company will offer you a job.” He gives me back the notebook. 

“It’s what I hope.” We stand in silence for some seconds until Baz clears his throat.

“So, I was thinking, that maybe …” Whatever he was going to say it’s interrupted by Penny opening the door.

“Hey, good morning Baz.” She comes to my side and I don’t know if it’s my impression, but Baz seems irritated.

“Good morning, I thought you already left for work.” He says.

“Today I didn’t have to go so early, so I waited to leave with Si.” She looks weirdly at Baz, and I don’t know what it’s happening now. 

“Something is wrong?” I ask Penny.

“No, nothing wrong.” She says, but they both keep looking at each other like they were having a silent conversation. “Oh,” She seems to have understood something that I still didn’t. “I think it’s better if I leave for work, I don’t want to be late.” She smiles at me, but I just frown at her. What was happening?

“Okay, I think we all have to go,” I say.

“Right,” Baz says, finally looking at me again. “I will be late for work if we don’t leave now.”

“Let’s go then.”

We walk in silence for the first minutes, but then I ask them about some places that I could go this afternoon, even though I already made my plans. They give me suggestions, and all seems normal again, but when I say goodbye to both of them at the tube station, I see them looking at each other again and then they start to say something that I don’t listen anymore.

Weird. I would have to ask one of them later what that was about. But now I was curious about what Baz was about to say when Penny appeared. He seemed nervous, but I didn’t know what he wanted and now I was curious. I should ask him that too.

I’m almost late for class, and because of that I end up sitting in the worst place, besides Aaron (the annoying bloke who thinks he is better than everyone else), but luckily today he chose to be quiet. 

I try to focus on the class, but for more interesting that is, I can’t stop thinking about Baz and what he wanted to say to me. I had a feeling about what it could be, but I didn’t want to have my hopes up.

When we are released after the last class, I’m more than ready to leave, halfway through the classes I did start to pay attention, but I still had all the other things in my mind. And only to make everything worse, Aaron started to talk to me, trying to explain what the teacher already explained. Seriously, he was annoying.

I’m on my way to Hide Park to start my free afternoon when my phone rings. It’s a text from Baz.

**Baz (14:25):** Do you think that it would be bad if I killed my cousin?

**Baz (14:25):** I mean, I know it’s murder, but the fact that we are related could make things worse?

**Baz (14:25):** If I were asking this to my father he would use this situation to say: See if you had been a lawyer like I am, you would know the answer.

I laugh reading his texts, Baz is not the kind of person who makes jokes, he is more the kind of sarcastic person. 

**Simon (14:26):** i think that all kinds of murder are bad

**Simon (14:26):** but what did your cousin do? 

**Simon (14:27):** if we plan this correctly they won’t be able to charge you, or me for being an accomplice

**Baz (14:30):** I’m trying to work and he keeps annoying me. It’s like he doesn't have a job.

**Baz (14:30):** But I don’t know, I would be able to look at my uncle and aunt’s face after that, but maybe I would never be able to look at Niall again.

**Baz (14:30):** For some reason he loves Dev, and he’s a good friend, I would like to keep him.

**Baz (14:31):** So, I guess I will have to leave this idea for another time. Maybe when he annoys Niall too. 

**Simon (14:31):** that sounds fair

**Baz (14:31):** But thank you for the suggestion of helping me, if the police arrest me I will tell them I was not working alone

**Simon (14:32):** and i will tell the judge that i had nothing to do with that

**Baz (14:32):** Too late, I have your texts saved now and I’ll use them as proof.

**Simon (14:33):** you would really drag me to the prison with you?

**Baz (14:34):** At least I wouldn’t be alone. I heard that prison can get really bad.

His text makes me blush for some reason.

**Simon (14:35):** then i guess it wouldn't be so bad. 

**Simon (14:35):** you convinced me, if you get arrested i’ll go with you

**Baz (14:36):** Good to know. Now it’s too late to change your mind, I already saved your text.

**Baz (14:37):** I have to go now, but later we can come back to plan crimes.

**Simon (14:37):** i look forward to it

**Simon (14:37):** go back to work that i‘ll enjoy the view

I send him a picture of the park.

**Baz (14:39):** That’s not fair. I’m here.

He sends me a picture of the office he works in. 

**Simon (14:39):** it’s a nice place to work, but i still prefer the place i am now

**Baz (14:40):** Me too. 

**Baz (14:40):** Anyway, I have to get back to work, talk to you later?

**Simon (14:40):** of course, i’ll wait for it

He doesn’t send me anything else, so I put my phone away and start to walk through the park. It was nice to be here again, it was a place where I came with my parents when I was younger.

My mother always loved all the parks of the city, but she had an especial love for Hyde Park. She used to tell me that it was here that she met my father and that her life changed after that, everything got better. So, she liked to come here and to bring me together. We used to take walks and in the summer we came here to have picnics. 

At that time, my father was still close to us and we were a family. We didn't live in London, just a few minutes from the city, so we used to come and spend the day here, it was great. And it was one of the best memories that I had from when I was a kid. 

The hours pass faster while I walk around the park and the city. I stopped to eat a couple of times because I saw too many delicious things, and when the sky started to get dark, I went back to the flat. 

Penny and Shep are already back at the flat, they ask me about my day and weirdly Penny doesn't mention Baz’s name one time, but I don’t say anything about him either, I didn’t want Pen to start asking things.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you Si, Keris, one of my coworkers, invited us to her birthday party at a pub, and you’re invited if you want to go too,” Pen says.

“Thanks for the invitation but I’ll stay here. I’m a bit tired and I want to finish some drawings we started in class.”

“Okay, are you sure you won't be lonely?” I laugh, Penny is always acting as the protective mum.

“Thank you for the concern, but I’ll be fine. I’m almost always alone back at home, my roommate it’s never there.” I shrug. “So, I’ll be fine.”

She still argues saying that being alone is not good for me and a lot of other things, but I cut her by going take a shower.

Thirty minutes later they leave the flat and I’m alone again. I don’t mind being alone, I mean, I like to be with other people, but being alone sometimes is nice too. 

I’m laying on the bed, seeing some of my sketches when my phone rings. I drop everything knowing that it’s Baz again.

**Baz (19:50):** Finally at home. 

**Simon (19:50):** hey

**Simon (19:50):** aren’t you working a bit too much?

**Baz (19:50):** We need to finish the next edition of the magazine, so at this time of the month everyone works more than we used to.

**Baz (19:51):** But anyway, how was your day? 

**Simon (19:51):** it was great, i went on a lot of places that i used to go when i was a kid

**Simon (19:51):** it was nice to remember

**Baz (19:52):** That’s nice.

**Baz (19:52):** You were alone or Penny went with you?

**Simon (19:53):** alone, she was working

**Simon (19:53):** but speaking about Pen, why were two acting weird this morning?

**Baz (19:54):** Oh, you saw that?

**Baz (19:54):** It was nothing.

**Simon (19:54):** really? 

**Simon (19:54):** because you both were acting really weird

I see Baz typing and typing but his text takes a couple of minutes to come.

**Baz (20:01):** Can I call you?

This was not at all what I was expecting him to say, but it was great.

**Simon (20:01):** of course 

Baz's name appears on my screen just a second later. 

“Hey,” I say.

“Hey, I’m sorry to call, but it was better to say and not write.” He seems nervous.

“Okay, you don’t have to be sorry though, it’s nice to hear your voice.” My cheeks are blushing, but he can’t see me so it’s fine.

“It’s nice to hear your's too.” I sense a smile on his voice, but I can’t know for sure.

“So, you’re going to tell me what happened with you and Penny?” I’m still curious.

“Yes, well, she …” He is really nervous. “She interrupted me before I asked you something, and she realised it. So, she was trying to apologize for her bad timing.” 

“And what did you want to ask me?” I’m smiling now. I think I know what he wants to ask, but I still didin’t want to have my hopes up only to be disappointed later.

“Uh, well …” I never heard him so nervous. “I didn’t want to do that over a phone call, but I wanted to ask you if you wouldn't want to have dinner with me tomorrow night.” I almost start to jump on my bed. 

“I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow.” I’m smiling so hard that I’m sure that my cheeks will start to hurt. 

“Really?” Baz seems to be smiling too.

“Of course, I wanted to ask you too, but the words never seemed to come to my mind.” I laugh.

“That’s good.” He says. “Okay then, it’s a date.” 

“It’s a date,” I repeat his words.

We talk for a few more minutes, Baz doesn't tell me where we will go, but he says that he’s going to pick me here tomorrow at 7 p.m, so of course, I’m already counting the hours. 

This day ended better than I expected, and I hoped that tomorrow would end even better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I changed the rating because before I was indecisive about the future chapters, but I already decide where the story will go, and maybe I'll change the rating again, but that will be only some chapters ahead.  
> Thank you to everyone who read the last three chapters and commented, left kudos and all, it all leaves me even more excited to write, so thank you very much.  
> Now, please tell me, did you liked this chapter? What do you think will happen next?  
> I'll try to go back soon :)


	5. When I look at you

**Simon**

I wake up with the biggest smile ever. I was very excited about this night, about the date with Baz. I am happy that he asked me out, if he hadn't I would have asked him, of course, but I’m glad he did. 

Shepard and Penny are having breakfast when I get to the living room, I was up earlier than usual, so they still haven't left for work. They are talking when I sit on the table by their side, but soon as Penny sees me, she stops talking to Shep and turns to me.

“Good morning,” She says. “You seem happy.”

“Good morning, and I am.” I smile.

“He will make us ask,” Shepard says to Penny.

“I won’t do that.” I laugh. “I have news.” They look anxious at me. “Baz and I will go on a date tonight.”

“Finally.” They say together, and then start to laugh.

“You both were tiring me with the flirting and pinning.” Pen rolls her eyes. 

“I wasn't pinning,” I complain. “And I find it hard to believe that Baz was pinning.”

“For me you both were, and it was enough. Now that my job is done, I can step aside and let you both figure this thing between you two by yourselves.”

“Your job?” Shepard asks before I could, but Penny only raises her eyebrow at him. “Of course it was your job.” I just laugh, but I understand, I would be afraid of Penny too.

“I just need your help to get dressed, I have no idea what to wear,” I say to Penny.

“It’s just a date Si, you will be fine.” She smiles.

“Yeah, but it’s a date with Baz, have you seen the way he dresses? And he booked the restaurant, so I should expect something posh, right?”

“I guess you’re right, you don’t have classes this afternoon, right?” I nod. “We could go shopping for some clothes at lunchtime.” I nod again.

“I’ll text you after the class ends then.”

Penny and Shepard start to talk about other things, but I can’t pay attention because I’m too busy thinking about Baz and the date. Not that it’s any different from the other days, lately all that I do is think about Baz. Think about what was happening with us and if he liked me. 

I know that I like him. For a moment I think that it’s weird to like someone that I barely know, but then when I really think about it and I realize that’s not true. Baz and I do know each other only for a week, but we  _ know _ each other. We talked so much on these last days that I feel that I’ve known him for years. 

It’s easy to get distracted with these thoughts, but luckily when I get to my class almost an hour after breakfast, I’m already able to focus on the teacher and what he’s saying. Especially because at the end of the last class, he makes a thrilling announcement.

“I know that you all are excited about this program and many already asked me about job offers.” Everyone is on the edge of the seat now. “So, I’m happy to tell you that two companies from London made a deal with us. At the end of this program, they will offer four positions at their companies, two to each one. They will choose based on your work here and your progress during the program. But be calm, they said that it’s not an immediate job offer, so it might take a while until they call you.” I see all my colleagues with smiles on their faces. “My advice to all of you is not to worry and to give your best here, and even if you aren't chosen at the end, I’m sure you all will have lots of opportunities later.”

A job offer, here in London. It was everything I wanted, everything I expected for years. I had to give my best so I could get one of these job offers. I don’t think I’ll tell anyone yet, because I don’t want to raise hopes, so I’ll just make sure that I’m doing everything I can in classes and hope to be one of the four to get the job.

I leave the class even more excited and now it’s for totally different reasons, I even forgot Baz for a moment. But when I check my phone and see that he texted me and I go back smiling because of him. I had sent him a text this morning and he hadn’t answered me when the class started.

**Simon (08:01):** good morning

**Simon (08:02):** just to let you know that i’m very excited about our date tonight

**Baz (10:21):** Good morning Snow.

**Baz (10:21):** I’m glad to hear, or read that. 

**Baz (10:21):** I’m also very excited about our dinner.

**Simon (12:05):** good to know

**Simon (12:05):** can I know where we are going?

I see Penny waiting for me on the other side of the street also reading something on her phone. She looks up when I get closer to her and puts her phone away.

“Hey, ready to have a really fun afternoon?” She asks me.

“A fun afternoon? Don’t you have to work?” Penny works in a publisher, surrounded by her favourite things ever, books. 

“I was able to get a free afternoon today, I work so much that my boss was glad to see me out of the office.” She laughs. 

“Great then, I was missing spending an afternoon with you.” I throw my arm around her shoulders.

“I was missing this too.” She puts her arm around my waist. “Now let’s go, let’s eat something and then find something gorgeous to leave you even more handsome to Baz.” 

We eat quickly and then Penny takes me to a shop where she is sure we will find something. She gathers a few clothes for me to try but I honestly have no idea of what to dress.

I try almost everything in there, but everything seems to be too fancy or too basic. And I don’t have any idea of where we are going, so I really don’t know what to wear. 

I’m almost giving up when my phone rings, with Baz’s answer. 

**Baz (14:07):** Of course not.

**Baz (14:07):** It’s a surprise.

**Simon (14:07):** i have to know, otherwise how i should know what to wear

**Simon (14:07):** i could choose a suit and in the end, we go to eat street food

**Simon (14:08):** or i could wear shorts and slippers and you take me to some posh restaurant

**Baz (14:10):** Please don’t wear shorts and slippers

**Baz (14:10):** That much I can tell you

It’s almost like I can see him smirking at me with that answer.

**Simon (14:10):** you have to give me something else than that

**Simon (14:11):** penny and i are shopping, can’t you tell me anything else?

I almost didn't tell him that I was shopping for clothes, a part of me thinks that he will think it’s too much. But the other part feels like he would like that.

**Baz (14:15):** Are you with Penelope now?

**Simon (14:15):** yes

**Baz (14:15):** I will tell her where we’ll go then.

“He said he will tell you where we will go,” I tell her and a second later her phone rings. 

“That was fast.” She laughs and looks at her phone. “Oh, great.” She smiles. “I know exactly what you should wear.”

“And you won’t tell me?” 

“Nope.” She says with a smile. “He wants it to be a surprise.” 

Then she turns and goes to the other side of the shop. I think I should thank Baz for helping me at least a bit. 

**Simon (14:18):** thanks

**Simon (14:18):** even though i would like to know where we will go

**Simon (14:18):** but better penny knowing that none of us

**Baz (14:19):** All in time, Snow.

**Baz (14:19):** But don’t worry, soon you will know.

I’m smiling at my phone like an idiot one more time. Hoping that no one would notice that, I just put my phone away and follow Penny.

She already picked dark blue jeans that I’ve already tried (it was nice but a bit tight on my thighs) (which could be good), and a grey button-up shirt. 

“That will be enough.” She says.

“So, not very fancy, but not basic either.” I try to guess.

“Something like that. It’s casual but nice enough to match with Baz.” She replies as if she knew what it was on my mind.

Baz was always dressed up nice. Seriously, even on the plane he was very well dressed. So, I wanted to be nice too, I didn’t want to be too different from him.

I go to pay for my new clothes while Penny waits for me outside the shop, and less than five minutes later we are already leaving the place.

“You know,” She starts after we walk for a couple of minutes. “I know that you were afraid of this thing between you and Baz, afraid to be rushing into something, but be calm, okay?” I nod. “Baz likes you, and honestly, after his last relationship I didn’t even think that he would like someone else, but he likes you.” I frown.

“What happened in his last relationship?” I am curious now.

Penny sighs before answering me, and I’m almost sure she won’t, that she will just tell me to ask him, but she tells me what I want to know. 

“Baz doesn’t trust in people too easily, he doesn't give himself completely in relationships, he almost did on his last one and he got hurt. He told you something about that?” I shake my head.

“He only told me that he works in the same place as his ex and that his ex was starting to be with someone else from the work too.” Penny nods.

“Well, he met his ex, Richard, at work, he is two or three years older than Baz, and he called Baz out after a party. As I told you before, Baz doesn't trust easily, and all his previous relationships ended badly, so Baz agreed to go out with him, to start something, but he didn't let himself fall for Richard, not completely, anyway.” She sighs again. “They were together for more than a year, which was kind of a record to Baz, things were starting to get even more serious and he was starting to feel comfortable, he was starting to feel that he could open himself more, that he could expose his heart.”

I still don’t know what happened, but I can sense a really bad ending, and I’m already feeling sorry for him. It must suck to trust in someone only to see that you shouldn't have. 

“As things advanced, Baz was getting even more cheerful, I felt in our conversations, I saw in the way that Baz talked about him that he was starting to fall in love with Richard.” 

“Until?” I ask after Penny stays a few seconds in silence.

“Until one day, on valentine's day of last year, Baz was working late at the magazine to finish the photos for a special edition that would come out only a few days later. He already had told Richard that he couldn't celebrate with him that day, so they would celebrate on the next day, but Baz ended up leaving earlier than expected and wanted to make a surprise to Richard. So, he went to Richard’s flat and as he had the key, he entered the place and found Richard with another bloke in bed.”

It was what I was expecting actually, but it doesn't make me feel any less bad. Poor Baz, having to go through something like that.

“He pretended to be fine after that as if what happened was a good thing for him. But it’s been over a year since that happened and he never mentioned anyone’s name, or even looked at anyone else after that. Not in my presence at least. Not until you both met each other.” I don’t know what to think of that. “That’s part of why I’m so happy to see you both together. I really never saw Baz like this, even with Richard, but he likes you Simon, the glint in his eyes that I see every time Baz looks at you, I never thought I would see it, not so soon, right after you both met. But it’s there and it leaves me very happy.”

“Is this the part of the talk where you tell me that if I break his heart you're gonna hurt me?” I ask trying to lighten the mood.

“Precisely.” She answers. “You are both my friends so I have to be careful with you too.”

That’s exactly what I would expect from Penny. I have no doubts that she will (if she already didn't do it), to have a similar talk with Baz. That’s why I love Penny, she is a great friend.

“I would never hurt him,” I answer her after some time. Penny looks at me and smiles softly.

“I know, but sometimes we hurt people without knowing, without wanting.” She squeezes my arm. “So, in the end, my advice is just to you to be careful, but not afraid.”

“A bit contradictory.” She chuckles softly.

“It is, but I know you understood me.”

And I did. 

I should be careful to not hurt Baz or myself, but I couldn't be afraid, not enough to not try. Not enough to run away from him and from what could happen between us.

**Baz**

The day was a good day, a great day in fact. I was thinking all day about my date with Simon tonight and then I was texting with him and he told me that he was shopping for tonight, which made me happier than it should. (But seriously, he was shopping for our date, that means that he cared a lot about it right?) (At least cared enough for wanting to look nice.)

Anyway, the day was great, until I found myself on a lift together with my ex and his new boyfriend. The only thing that made me better, was to think that I was going home and then I was going out with Simon. 

Richard and I dated for about a year and I was starting to fall in love with him (after a lot of bad relationships I protected my heart a lot better) (which makes this thing with Simon even scarier) when I caught him having sex with someone else on valentine’s day.

Of course, in the first week, I suffered a lot, but I was okay after that and I almost don’t care about that now, but seeing his face always makes me so angry. Not because he is dating, he could date whoever he wants, but because he cheated on me. I trusted him and he betrayed my trust. He made me a foul and I hate when someone makes me a foul.

I leave the lift with my head high, thinking positively that I was about to have a date with the most handsome bloke I had already seen. A bloke that already had my trust, and even against my best instincts, already had my affection too.

This was the craziest thing about all that. After catching my ex cheating on me, I became more focused on excluding the romance of my life and was sure that I would never open my heart again. And that worked fine for more than a year. 

But then I met Simon. I know it’s crazy to say, but I do trust him. I know he wouldn't hurt me and I know he cares about me. He likes me, I can feel that. And I like him, more than it would be wise. More than I promise myself that I would.

And I knew that it would be easy to fall in love with him in a very short time, but that didn't scare me anymore. I don’t know why, but that makes me excited to see what will happen. And it’s what makes me so happy about this night.

When I step inside my flat, my ex is already forgotten, so I run to take a shower and to dress before I’m late to go to Penny and take Simon. 

I put on my best jeans, a navy blue button-up shirt and a jacket because it’s already starting to be chilly at night. Once I finish getting dressed, I text Simon so he can know that I’m going and then I get out of my flat.

My plan for tonight is going to two different places, and the two places we can go using the tube, or walking, and Simon has told me that he likes walking, so I decided not to take my car. 

Through the whole way to Penny’s flat, I kept passing through my plans for tonight, it was pretty simple actually, but now I was worried that it was too simple. That maybe I should have done better plans. But now it’s a bit late to worry, so I have to hope that Simon will like it.

When I reach Penny’s door my hands are trembling a bit and I hesitate a second before knocking it. For a moment I even forgot that Penny would be at home, so I was surprised when she opened the door. And even more surprised when instead of inviting me in, she stepped outside and closed the door.

“Good night Basil, you look great.” She says.

“Thank you. You will tell me why we are chatting here and not inside your place?” I raise my eyebrow at her.

“Simon is finishing getting ready, so I wanted to talk to you for a second before you both leave.” She is looking at me with a lot of intensity, the kind that makes her a bit terrifying.

“Please don’t tell me that this is the part where you will threaten me if I hurt Simon?” 

“It is.” She smirks. “I already had a similar conversation with him, because you’re my friend too, so now it’s your turn.” I roll my eyes. “I don’t know how much he told you about his past relationships, but the truth is that he only had one girlfriend when he was a teenager, and I’m pretty sure that he was never in love with her.”

She stops for a second but I don’t dare interrupt her, so she just continues after a couple of seconds.

“Unlike you, Simon is the kind of person who gives his heart too easily, but he never found anyone to give it, he never really fell in love. He has crushes all the time, of course, but nothing too serious, nothing that makes him smile for too long, or blush like he does when I mention you.” That almost makes me smile. “I think that deep down he is afraid to let someone inside his heart just like you, but he is already letting you in, more than I ever saw him doing before. So, please, I know you had your issues and all that shit happening to you, but Simon is different, he won’t be like the others, he won’t hurt you.” She takes my hand. “But I ask you to not hurt him too, because he will give his heart to you very easily, so if you don’t intend to accept it, don’t play with him.”

I don’t know what to say so I look down.

“I know that this is just your first date, I’m not saying that you should already decide now, but keep that on your mind. You too are my best friends and I would hate to see any of you or both you get hurt.”

“I thought you were the one who wanted us together.”

“And I do. But as your friend, I should also give you advice. I really think that you both have a great chance to work together, but first, you both should go through your problems and what holds you back, you should let that aside and focus on the good things.” She squeezes my hand. “But only to finish my speech, if you hurt him I will hurt you.” I laugh and pull her so I can hug her.

“I have no intention to hurt him, Pen.” I step back so I can look at her. “I know that what is happening between us is new, very new, and everything that happened in the past is always holding me back, but I like him and I also believe that we could work together.”

Penny smiles brightly, but before she could say something else, the door goes open and I see Simon on the other side. He is gorgeous like always and he is smiling at me in a way that makes my heart skip a beat. But then he looks at Penny and his smile disappears, she said that she already talked to him, so he must imagine what she was doing.

“Something is happening?” He asks Penny.

“No, I was just chatting with Baz, now you can go.” She smiles at him, then pulls him outside the flat and goes inside. “Have a great night.” She tells us before closing the door. 

I think a minute passes while Simon and I stare at the door, but then he turns to me and his smile is already back on, and then I think,  _ no Penny, you got it wrong, I’m the one who will give my heart too easily to him. _

“You look great.” He tells me with a slight blush on his cheeks. 

“You too.” He smiles again. “Ready to go?”

“Yes, I’m super ready to see what you planned for tonight.”

“Then let 's go.” We get out of the building. “I hope you don’t mind us walking and taking the tube, everything was close, so …”

“Of course I don’t mind.” He replies. “It’s a beautiful night for a walk.” He is right, the sky is clear and we even can see a few stars. “So, I’m sorry for Penny, I guess she was having 'the talk' with you …” He starts rubbing the back of his neck.

“She was.” I cut him, but then I laugh. “But I guess I would have to apologize too because she told me that she had a similar conversation with you.” He nods.

“She did, but it’s nice to know that she cares about us individually.”

“It is, she can be very protective.” He laughs.

“She’s been acting like a protective mother my entire life, but that got worse after my mother’s death. She actually acts like a mother, including checking if I ate or if I’m not late for my things, or anything like that.” It’s my time to laugh.

“I can picture her doing that. With me, it’s not so extreme, but  every time she thinks that something is wrong, she tries to be like a therapist and tries to fix whatever is wrong, even if nothing is wrong.”

“That’s Penny.” He says smiling at me. “I was surprised that you got off your job at the time,” He’s still smiling. "Lately you’re always working late.”

“Yes, this time of the month is crazy, but I already had made my mind that today I would leave on time, and once I put something on my mind it is easier to do it.” He nods.

We keep talking about work and his classes until we reach the restaurant fifteen minutes later. I picked a nice restaurant, but not too fancy, I was trying not to rub my money on Simon’s face and I knew he didn't like posh things (as he already told me), so I went for a more casual and less expensive place. 

“I was really afraid that you’d bring me to a posh restaurant and I wouldn't be dressed properly.” He says when we sit at our table. 

“But I told Penny where we were coming.”

“Yeah, I know, it was just my anxiety speaking.” He laughs. “But this is a nice place, and much better than the coffee that I suggested back when we were on the plane.” I laugh too.

“The coffee would not be a bad choice either,” I say.

“Then maybe we should grab a coffee on the next date.” His cheeks get a beautiful shade of pink as he speaks, but I just smile at him and ask.

“Next date? I must be a really good date planner, we barely started this one and you already are planning the next?” He smiles but he seems a bit shy now.

“Well, I’d only not be planning the next date if I was not sure that I wanted to keep seeing you, or if I didn’t know you too well, but I feel like I can say that I already know you a lot and I definitely want to keep seeing you, so yes I’m already planning the next date.” Now his cheeks are red, and I feel myself blushing too, but I can’t stop smiling. “Of course, if you think in the same way.” I try to be bold and I place my hand on top of his across the table.

“Of course I do. But I already let you know that the second date will be on your hands.” He grins.

“I’m okay with that.”

Before we could say anything else, the waiter came with the menu and I pulled my hand back so we could hold the menu and chose our dinner. 

I was afraid that it could be a little awkward on the date like we had run out of talk and would just stare at each other in silence, but I’m glad I was wrong. We talk about so many things that I don’t see the time pass, and soon we are already eating and then talking again.

“Now that I know how sweet you like your coffee, I can imagine that you also like sweet desserts,” Simon says when it’s time for us to choose our desserts.

“I do have a sweet tooth, so yes.” I laugh. 

“In this part, I’m just like you, the more sugar the better the dessert.” 

“What is your favourite food? You already mentioned so much food in our talks that I suppose it’s something you like a lot.” He laughs.

“It is, I always liked to eat more than the normal, I don’t know why. But my favourite food is sour cherry scones, my mum used to make for me when I was a kid, so it brings me good memories.”

“That’s nice,” I say. “I don’t remember much of my mum, I’d like to have some memories.” I complete, giving a smile even though it's not a happy subject.

“I’m sorry.” He reaches for my hand on top of the table. “What do you remember of her?”

“Small details, like the way she used to hold me when I had nightmares, or her voice when she called me ‘little puff’,” I smile, remembering that and Simon gives me a sweet smile. “I remember some stories that she used to tell me, the way she did everything seems magical.”

“That’s very sweet, she seemed to be a lovely person.” He squeezes my hand.

“Yeah, she was.” 

“I’m sorry to bring the subject to that, we can talk about other things.”

“No, that’s okay, I like to talk about her and I almost don’t. My father hates to talk about her because it still hurts to him, and my aunt it’s too passionate about my mum, so it’s never a good idea to start talking to her. And the other people usually just keep sending me pity looks and that stresses me, so I never talk about her.”

“I understand that, since my mum died, every time I say something about her, my friends just look at me with so much pity in their eyes that upsets me more than talking about my mum.”

“It’s exactly that.” I agree. “It’s nice to talk to someone that understands.” He smiles.

“But now, you have to tell me your favourite food.” I’m glad he changed the subject. I do like to talk about my mum, but maybe our first date wouldn’t be the best time for that.

We keep talking about food until the dessert arrives, we eat our desserts and even after eating all of his, Simon still tries to steal from mine and at the end, I just give him mine, because partially I was already satisfied and partially because I was finding it hard to say no to him. 

We leave the restaurant twenty minutes later, with me still teasing him, pretending to be mad that he ate my dessert. I still didn't tell him that we were going to a second place, so when we are on the streets again he asks me.

“Now that we already had dinner, it means that the date is over?” He looks at me for a second before looking away.

“No, actually I planned us to go to an extra place tonight.” He looks at me again. “If you are okay with it.” He smiles.

“Of course I am. I don’t want to say goodbye yet.” It’s my time to smile.

“Neither do I.” We keep looking at each other for some seconds until I look away.” Shall we?” He nods. “It’s not very far for us to go walking, do you mind?”

“No, but only with one condition.” I frown.

“Which one?” 

“Can I?” He asks, while his hand touches mine. 

Is he asking to hold my hand?

_ You don’t have to ask _ . I want to say, but I just nod and he smiles.

And that’s how I end up walking on the streets holding Simon Snow’s hand. His skin is hot, but as I am always so cold, it’s a very welcome warmth. He intertwines his fingers on mine and squeezes my hand, making me look up to him, and making me realize that I was staring at our joined hands. 

I find Simon staring at me like he’s uncertain of my reaction. So, I just squeeze his hand too, and smile at him, right before pulling him so we could walk again.

**Simon**

We are walking for some minutes now, Baz’s hand it’s still on mine, and I’m loving it. I’m not sure what made me ask him for that, but I just wish to touch him, to do more than just smile and look at him. So, now I was holding his hand, but it was not enough. Not yet.

“Are you gonna tell me where are we going?” I ask after a few minutes.

“You are very curious, you know that?” He laughs but then shakes his head. “I’ll only tell you when we get closer, and only because you could guess as we get to the place.”

“If I am too curious, you are too mysterious.” I laugh. “Hey,” I want to ask him something since we left Penny’s flat. “What Penny said to you? On the ‘if you hurt him’ conversation?”

“I will only tell if you tell me what she said to you.” He smirks.

“Now who is the curious one?” He raises his eyebrow. “Fine, I will tell you if you tell me.”

“Okay then.” He looks a bit embarrassed before starting speaking. “Basically she said that you only had one girlfriend, and that you never were seriously involved with anyone after that, and that I should take care with my actions towards you.” I can tell that he’s not telling me everything, but maybe it is something related to him. Or maybe he doesn't want to make us both embarrassed. “And what did she tell you?”

“Oh, she told me about your last relationship, how bad it ended, and just alerted me to not break your heart, because someone else already did that and she doesn't want to see you being hurt again.” He nods. “I’m sorry by the way, it must have been really bad.”

“It was, but Penny makes it bigger than it was. In her head, I stood for months on my bed crying and suffering when in reality that happened only for a week and then I went back living my life. I understand her concern, but she exaggerated a bit, I guarantee that my ex didn't cause big or deepest damages.”

“That’s good then, but even so I’m sorry.” He smiles softly at me.

“Thank you, and we are getting closer.” I look around trying to figure out where we are going. “You told me that one of your favourite places in London was the London Eye, and it was what you most missed back in NY. You still didn’t come here, so …” I recognize where we are now, more a few steps and we will be able to see the London Eye.

When I lived here, my parents and I used to come to London on weekends, and we always went to Hyde Park, but my mum used to bring me to the London Eye after, and that always made me realise that I lived here, (well, not here in London, but very close) and I loved it. We used to come here a lot, and I still remember the first time we got inside and I could see the city, it was amazing.

And then when I was in New York, I used to dream about coming back to London, and the London Eye was the first thing that came into my mind. I told Baz that when we were on the plane, and I can’t believe that he actually remembers.

“I know that probably wasn't where you were expecting me to bring you …” He keeps talking while the London Eye comes at our sight. ‘I just wished to bring you here so you could feel like you told me you felt back when you were a child.” I realize that Baz is a bit nervous and I still haven’t said a word.

“Baz, this is amazing. I can’t believe you remembered.” I say as we get closer to the London Eye.

“You liked it?” I look at him, taking my eyes from one of my favourite places in the city.

“Of course I did. I still haven't got the time to come here, and I was missing it.” I squeeze his hand. “Thank you.”

“It was nothing.” He smiles and looks away. “Let’s sit.”

We don’t go to the London Eye really, we stay on the other side of the Thames and sit on a bench looking at it.

“It’s like the time hasn't passed, I can remember exactly how I felt when I used to come here with my parents,” I say. “I miss those days before mum got sick, we didn't have a perfect life, but it was amazing. We were happy.” Baz starts to brush his thumb on the back of my hand. 

“I miss that too, the moments where it was just me and my parents.” He says. “But you know what? Before I used to get lost in these thoughts, missing my old life so much that I didn’t quite appreciate my present life. I still miss my mother, but if she was here, I wouldn't have my brothers, so I like to think that someone that I loved was taken off me, but I got other little persons that I love.” He smiles sadly. 

“I like the way you talk about your brothers,” I say, making him look at me. “You love them so much, I can see it in your eyes or feel it on your voice when you speak about them.”

“I do love them, I wish I could see them more though, I feel like I’m missing so much in their lives.” He shrugs.

“I bet they miss you too, you seem to be the big brother that kids like to have.”

“Maybe.” He smiles and looks away. “The sky is beautiful tonight.” I look up.

“It is, but it’s a shame we can’t see the stars properly. Maybe one of these days we could leave the city to see the stars.” I feel his eyes on me.

“That would be nice.” I keep looking at the sky. “Maybe it could be our third date.” This time I look at him and see him blush.

“Third date? I even planned the second one yet.” We laugh. “But I like how that sounds.” I can feel his breath on my face and only then I realize how close we were. “Baz?” He hums, but I don’t know what to say.

What I could say to him? That I liked him more than I thought? More than it was possible for someone I met only a week ago? That I want to kiss him? That I wanted to kiss him since we met?

“A week ago we were on that plane.” It’s what I say.

“Never been happier to be on a plane.” He whispers, making me smile.

“Me neither.” He looks at my lips for a second, making me wonder if he’s thinking the same. “Baz?” I call him again and he looks at my eyes.

“Simon?” He answers in the same tone, and his voice saying my name makes me almost melt on the bench.

But then I do something better. I lunch forward and kiss him. 

And it feels like paradise. 

**Baz**

Simon’s lips are on mine. 

It takes me a couple of seconds to process that.

I was thinking about kissing him since I saw him at Penny’s door, (actually since I saw him on the plane), but I was trying to find the perfect moment. Apparently, Simon found the moment first than I did.

But I don’t care because his lips are hot and soft, and his hands are in my hair, and I want more.

I feel Simon’s tongue on my lips, so I open my mouth letting him in, allowing me to taste him and to get lost on what I was feeling now. 

I put one of my hands on his hair, letting my fingers go through his curls, killing my curiosity about how that would feel. (It feels amazing.)

Right now, all I can think about is Simon. It’s like he’s sucking all the air around me, (he’s certainly leaving me breathless), killing all my coherent thoughts, like the fact that we are making out in public, something that I never liked too much. But right now, I don’t care at all, I just care about him.

Simon’s kiss starts almost like a fight, too frantic, erratic (but not less perfect), he seems to push me, so I push back as we try to take control of the kiss. But then, after I don’t know how long, his kiss (our kiss) changes to something more calm and sweet, he kisses me like we have all the time in the world, it’s almost like a dance. 

I’m pretty sure no one ever kissed me like that. I’m pretty sure that this was the best kiss of my life. (And I already kissed a lot, so that’s saying something.)

When he pulls back, I’m more than breathless. But so is he.

“That was …” He starts to say. “That was …” He tries again, but then I pull him by his shirt crashing our lips again.

I don’t kiss him as enthusiastically as he did, I just let our lips touch for a moment, wanting to feel him again. 

“It was,” I say, after breaking apart, guessing that he would say it was amazing. His smile almost makes me kiss him again. 

“I’m definitely looking forward to our second date.” He laughs, making me laugh too. 

“That means you’re already finishing this one?” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“Of course not.” He says, pulling me again to another kiss. “I’m still not tired of you.”

“Good to know.” He laughs again and stands pulling me with him.

“Let’s walk, I want to see more of London at night with you.” I’m not the one who would deny him that, so I go.

“Wait,” I say, pulling him by his hand and kissing him one more time.

Now that we were standing, Simon has to look up a bit, because I’m taller than him (and I kinda like that), his arms are around my neck and mine are around his waist pulling him even closer. 

I never was the kind of person who liked to show affections in public, I was always worried that someone could be looking and judging, but now I just don’t seem to care. Simon makes me forget all my good sense and I just don’t care, I just want to kiss him.

So I do. I kiss him until we are breathless again, and then he kisses me. 

Definitely, the best date of my life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love to write first dates and first kisses, so I loved to write this chapter.  
> But tell me if you liked it too.  
> Thank you to all the comments and kudos, you're all very sweet <3  
> I'll try to come back soon :)


	6. I’m yours

**Simon**

I go to sleep with the biggest smile ever and wake up still smiling. 

Last night was perfect. The best date I ever had. 

Seriously, I have never been on a date where I could just be me and feel free to talk and act like I always do. But last night I did, I feel so comfortable around Baz, he makes me feel so good, that I don’t need to hide or to pretend to be someone else.

He was perfect last night and we talked about everything, and then after dinner, that was delicious, he took me to one of my favourite places. And I just couldn't not kiss him. And if I already thought that everything was amazing last night, after kissing Baz, everything got a million times better.

I don’t have much experience with kisses, but I know that I never had a better kiss than last night’s. For real, the way that Baz kissed me, did something with me that I never felt before, not even with Agatha. It was like I could catch on fire at any second. 

After our kiss, we walked a bit (still holding hands), and when it was getting late Baz walked me home and we kissed again for some more minutes. It was really hard to let him go, I wished I could have stayed kissing him for the rest of the night.

Thinking about spending the night kissing Baz is enough to make me blush, but it’s enough for me to imagine that and want that. 

I roll on my side to catch my phone and see that it’s eight a.m yet, so I keep laying down, looking at the ceiling and thinking about last night.

I wanted to see Baz today, we didn't say anything about meeting today, but maybe I could text and ask him. But not now, I didn't want him to think that I am desperate. I kinda am, but he doesn't need to know.

I leave the bed and the room and go to the living room where I find Penny and Shep cuddling on the sofa watching something on TV. It was already late when I came home yesterday, so they were already sleeping and they didn't see me come back.

As soon as I step into the living room, Penny looks up and starts smiling at me, which already makes me blush.

“Here is our boy,” Penny says to Shepard. “For a moment I thought you haven't spent the night here. I thought you would be having much more fun.” She raises her eyebrow suggestively, and that’s enough to make me blush even harder. 

“Of course not,” I say trying to cool down as Penny laughs.

The subject ‘sex’ was always something that let me a bit embarrassed, not the sex itself, but the fact that I never had sex with another person. And I know, I’m 24, I already should have fixed that, but I never found anyone I wanted to do it. 

I thought that Agatha and I would do it, once we both were ready, but Agatha never seemed to want that, so I just let it aside and didn’t think about it.

We did try to have sex once, a bit before we broke up, we were having problems, and we thought that sex could fix our problems, but just let’s say that halfway through it we saw that it wouldn’t work. So, I’m pretty sure I can say that I never had sex before.

And after her, I had only dates, and it was with no one that I trusted enough or wanted enough to do it. So, I just waited. 

“So,” Penny’s voice brings me back from my thoughts. “How was the date?” She and Shep sit up so I can sit by their side. 

“It was amazing,” I say, already sitting and smiling. “We went to dinner and then he took me to the London Eye, I told him about when I used to go there as a child, and he remembered, he took me there and then we walked more for London until he brought me back here.”

“That sounds very nice,” Penny says. “And tell me, did you both kiss?” All my blood goes to my cheeks again.

“Penny.” I almost yell, but she just laughs.

“What? This is a normal question, right Shep?” I don’t know if Shepard agrees with her but he nods either way. “See?” I roll my eyes.

“I never asked both of you if you had kissed.” 

“But I told you, remember? Right after Penny and I had our first date.” Shepard says.

“Yeah, but I didn’t ask you.” Penny keeps looking at me expectantly making me huff. “Fine, we kissed.” She claps her hands and I try to hide my smile. 

“And what are your plans for today?”

“I don’t know, we didn't say anything about it and I don’t know if I should text him already, I don’t want him to think that I am desperate.” Penny rolls her eyes.

“That’s insane, go text him. I’m sure he won’t think you are desperate, knowing Baz as I do he’s probably just like you are now.” 

“Maybe.” I consider her words, before giving in and going to my room to take my phone.

I listen to Penny's laugh as I close the door and jump on the bed where my phone is. There is no text from Baz yet, but I opened our texts and sent a text to him before I could have second thoughts.

**Simon (08:45):** good morning

**Simon (08:45):** just wanted to let you know that last night was incredible

**Simon (08:46):** you definitely know how to plan a date

I’m not hoping for him to answer so soon, so I’m surprised when I see his name on my screen less than a minute later.

**Baz (08:46):** Good morning, Snow

**Baz (08:46):** Thank you, but I don’t know if I deserve the compliments. 

**Baz (08:47):** But yes, last night was incredible

**Simon (08:47):** are we back to snow now?

**Simon (08:47):** you called me simon last night

**Baz (08:47):** No, I didn’t.

It’s almost like I could see him smirking at me. 

**Simon (08:48):** can I call you?

I wait for his answer, but then he calls me.

“Hey,” I say. “I had the impression that you called me Simon before I kissed you last night, but I might be wrong. I was more focused on kissing you than actually listening to you.” I smile.

“Simon.” He murmurs.

“Ha,” I shout. “See? I was right, you did call me Simon.” I almost can see him rolling his eyes.

“Maybe you're right.” This time I heard the smile on his voice. 

“What are you gonna do today?” I didn’t want to be so direct, but I’m not sure that Baz would ask me that.

“Nothing too important.” I hum only to let him know that I heard him. “Do you … do you wanna do something?” He seems insecure, but that makes me smile because I’m insecure too.

What is the normal thing to do after a date with someone you like? Do we go on another date already? Or we can just spend some time together? 

“What do you have in mind?”

“Wait, why am I asking you out again? I already asked you out on our first date, now it’s your turn.” I laugh.

“Okay, that’s fair.” I clear my throat. “Baz, do you wanna go somewhere today? Or do something together?”

“Let me think for a second.” This time I roll my eyes, but I am smiling. “Well, I don’t have anything better to do so, okay, we can do something together.” I pretend to be offended.

“Anything better?” He laughs, making me laugh too. “What do you wanna do?”

“Maybe you could come over, we could have lunch together and maybe watch some movie or something like that.” Baz was inviting me to his place? Now I was a bit nervous, and if his voice indicates something, I would say that he was too. 

“That sounds great.” I ignore my burning cheeks. “I’ll be there in a couple of hours, okay?”

“I’ll be waiting for you.” That makes me smile.

We talk for a couple of more minutes, and my mind keeps wandering. Just because Baz invited me to his flat doesn't mean that we will do something, right? It’s not that I don’t want to have sex, I mean I’m a 24 years old virgin, of course I want to have sex and Baz … Well, he is incredibly fit, and I would love to do more than just kissing him and I probably want him more than I ever wanted anyone else.

But I don’t know. I don’t want to rush anything, we just had our first date and if I’m being honest with myself I’m a bit afraid of not knowing what to do. Of being terrible at it. 

I shake my head and go back to pay attention to Baz’s voice. I probably was freaking out for nothing, maybe Baz even thought about it. Maybe he really just wants to watch movies with me. 

Yes, I'll focus on that.

**Baz**

Okay, now I was freaking out a bit. 

Last night Simon and I had the best date ever. Seriously, our date was the best first date I ever had. Actually, our date was the best date I ever had.

I was walking through my flat, thinking all of that and trying to decide if I should text or call Simon, to talk to him, and to know if he was having the same thoughts. If he wanted to see me today just like I wanted to see him.

And then he texted me, and we talked and I invited him over. 

I was seriously not thinking too much about anything, I just wanted to see him and spend some time with him. But what if I gave him another impression? What if he expects us to do something? To go further than just kissing? It’s not that I wouldn't like to go further, I’d love that and Simon … Simon is extremely hot, of course I want him.

And it’s not like I never had sex before, I already had it a lot of times, but it’s because of that, that now I’m careful with it. In my previous relationships and dates, it was something that I never cared too much, so usually, after a good first date I would end up going to bed with someone else.

But after so many bad relationships, I was trying to do things differently, and Simon was different, so I wanted things to go slow. 

I’m not going to lie and say that I would mind if something happened today, but I will try to take things slow as I wanted.

And probably I was freaking out over nothing. Simon probably didn't even think about that. So, I would try to put that aside in my mind and focus on cleaning my flat and cooking something for lunch. 

I’m finishing cleaning my flat when my phone rings, for a second I think it might be Simon cancelling our date, but I know he wouldn’t and I confirm it when I see my cousin’s name on my screen.

“Hey, lover boy.” He says with a teasing voice. “How was your date? Do I need to call later? He’s still in your flat?” I roll my eyes. “Oh, say hi to Niall, you’re on speakerphone.”

“Hi, Niall,” I say. “And no, Simon is not here.”

“I told you.” I listen to Niall's voice. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Dev answers, probably they were betting on that, they were always betting on something. “But how was the date?” He insists.

“It was great, we went for dinner and then to a walk through some places that he likes.” I’m happy they weren't here, because it was hard to hide my smile while remembering the date. 

“And?” Dev asks and I roll my eyes again. With Dev I was always rolling my eyes. 

“And what?” I ask even though I know what he means.

“Did you kiss? Will you be going on a second date with him? Are you already in love with him?” He doesn't even stop to breathe between the questions.

“Babe, breathe, and Baz you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want it,” Niall says. “But we would love to know.” He laughs. Christ, my friends were idiots. 

“Yes, we kissed. Yes, we will be going on a second date, and in fact, he’s coming over to lunch and watch a movie.” I don’t answer the last question, in part because the answer was obvious, of course I wasn’t in love with Simon yet. But in part, because I knew that I wasn’t far from that. 

“Our boy is becoming a grown man,” Dev says, which once again makes me roll my eyes. Honestly, how could we be related? “And watch a movie? This is what the kids are calling now?” I can almost see him smirking. 

“We will just watch a movie,” I say, trying not to go back freaking out. “And I have to hang up, I need to finish cleaning the flat.”

"You're no fun,” Dev complains. “But tomorrow I will want to know everything about this movie you will see.” He laughs.

“Tomorrow?” I raise my eyebrow, even though he can’t see me.

“Oh, yeah, my parents will be at your house for lunch and they asked me to go too. So, you will give me a ride and we will talk, okay? Okay, bye.” He hung up before I could say something else. 

After a few seconds of looking at my phone, I shake my head and go back to cleaning the flat. My friends were irritating, but I couldn't imagine not having them in my life. I guess I could stand their jokes and provocation.

But only thinking about being in a car for more than five minutes with Dev already made me groan. Tomorrow it will be a long day.

I decide not to worry about that until I have to, and go back focus on the fact that Simon is coming here and that’s enough to make me stop thinking about anything else because I want to see him so much. I know that I saw him last night, but now that we had our first date, now that I know how is to kiss him, how is the taste of his lips, I want more. 

I’m in the kitchen, cooking something for us to eat when I get a text from Simon telling me that he is already coming here. And five minutes later he says he’s already on my street. 

I run through the flat to check if everything is in place and once back at the living room Simon knocks on my door. I take a deep breath, trying not to look so desperate, and then I go open the door and find him looking at me probably the same way I was looking at him.

“Hey,” He smiles, but I can see he’s nervous.

“Hey,” I’m nervous too. “Please, come in.” I thought that the whole embarrassment thing was before the first date, not after.

Simon comes in as I step aside, and after I close the door, we both stand awkwardly not knowing what to do, until Simon says.

“That’s ridiculous.” He huffs a laugh and steps in my direction.

When he is in front of me, he throws his arms around my neck, which makes me put my arms around his waist. He looks up and smiles, and that’s enough for me to close my eyes and lean into him. 

Someone could say that last night’s kisses were so good because of the magic of the night, or because of the expectation we both were feeling before kissing. But the kisses were so good because it was both of us. 

The kisses, not only from last night, but this one right now were good because somehow we worked so good together, somehow we fit together. And now I was feeling exactly what I felt last night like everything was in the right place. 

I don’t want to break apart, to stop kissing Simon, but I was starting to need breathing and I wanted to look at Simon again, I wanted to see those beautiful blue eyes looking at me. 

“Hey,” He says again. “This is a better way to say hello.” He smiles and I smile too because I can’t not. 

“I think I have to agree with you.” His fingers touch my jaw and all I want is to close my eyes and kiss him again, but I just keep looking at him.

“I know it’s crazy, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you and last night.” He blushes and all I want it’s to kiss his cheeks, but this time I don’t let my thoughts stop me. So, I lean down a bit and kiss his both cheeks.

“It’s not crazy,” He’s smiling again. “I also couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He leans in my direction again, making his lips touch on mine just for a second.

“Good.” He whispers against my lips.

I need all my self-control to not take him to my sofa and keep kissing him. I need to remind myself that I want things to go slow, so I step back, looking at Simon again.

“Come on, let’s eat something.”

**Simon**

A part of my nervousness goes away after I kissed Baz. I mean, I was still a bit nervous, but now that I was here I knew that I had nothing to worry about. It was just Baz, and I was always comfortable around him. 

He takes me to his kitchen where he is already cooking something for us. And while he goes to check the food I let myself just look at him. I know that it’s something that I always think about when I look at Baz, but he is the most gorgeous person I have ever seen, he could easily change places with the models he is used to taking pictures of.

And even though I know that I’m not that bad looking, I know that I’m nothing too extraordinary too. It’s a bit hard to believe that he wants something with me. 

When I think that, I almost can hear Pen’s voice in my head saying that I shouldn’t depreciate myself. So, I try to listen to her imaginary voice and think about something else. 

Last time I was here, I was very focused on Baz and barely paid attention to his flat, but now that I want to think about something else, I look around and I can see everything better. The flat is bigger than Penny’s and posher too, everything looks expensive, but it’s not too much. It seems to match Baz’s personality.

I walk around his living room and see pictures of kids, and of other people that I don’t know. 

“These are my brothers.” Baz’s voice makes me jump. I thought he was in the kitchen.

“Sorry,” I put the picture back in place. “I wasn’t trying to …” Baz shakes his head.

"That's okay.” He smiles and takes the picture.

“You took this photo?” He nods. 

“Yeah, it was after my little brother was born. I wanted to take a picture of all of them together.”

“Why weren't you in the picture with them?” 

“We took one with all of us, it’s at my parents' house, but this one I wanted to keep with me, so I could look at them all the time.” He smiles. 

“That’s exactly why I wanted brothers,” I say, smiling too. “Although I have to consider that Penny is like my sister but you know what I mean right, I wanted to have a baby brother or sister that I could look after, just like you do with your brothers.”

“I guess I have some advantages of being an older brother.” He puts away the picture again and I see another picture, but in this one, Baz was on it, with another two blokes.

“These are your friends?” I point at the picture. 

“Yes, Dev and Niall.” He points to them and then he shakes his head.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing,” He smiles. “I was talking to them before you got here and now I was remembering how stupid they are.” I laugh. “Anyway, are you hungry?” 

“I could eat.” I shrug, making him laugh.

“Of course you can, in these days that I met you I never saw you refuse food.” I shrug again.

“I really like food.” He laughs again.

“Come on then, our lunch is almost ready.” He takes my hand and pulls me to the kitchen.

I help him to put the plates on the table, and then he puts the food too. It all looks amazing, delicious and very impressive. Despite loving to eat, I can’t cook very well, so it is a bit impressive that he did all of this. And he still cooked one of my favourite meals, roasted beef. 

“Really?” He asks when I tell him that.

“Yeah, we used to live close to a restaurant that did the best roasted beef, and I ate it all the time, it was amazing. We never found anything close to that in New York.” I look at the food. “But this looks amazing, I didn’t know you knew to cook.” 

“I had to learn back in college, I started to live by myself and I couldn't keep eating in restaurants all the time, so I started to learn.” 

“I have to thank my roommate that knows how to cook, otherwise I would have already starved by now.” He laughs.

“You would have learned.”

“I doubt that. I ruin every food I try to cook, and I already tried a lot.” I take a bite of the food, and it’s not only the appearance that's good, but it also tastes amazing. “That’s really good.” I take another bite. “I’ll ask you to cook for me all the time now.” He smiles.

“If you really want to, then I guess I have no choice.” I smile too.

We kept eating and talking for some minutes and the whole awkward moment we had when I arrived it was gone. It was just like last night, I was much more relaxed and comfortable and I could see that Baz was too. 

I help him wash the dishes after we finish eating and when we finish cleaning the kitchen we go back to his living room. 

We sit on his sofa and I start to get nervous again because we are very close, and all I want is to go back kissing Baz, but what if things get out of control and I end up doing something wrong? Baz already dated, I’m sure he already had sex before, so what if I am terrible?

I need to stop thinking about that. I don’t know why I was so worried about this, about the possibility of having sex. I never thought so much about it. I think that it might be because now it matters.

But anyway, I’m glad that read mind isn't something possible because again I am freaking out and Baz is looking relaxed. He’s looking at TV, trying to choose something for us to watch and I’m imagining hypothetical situations. 

“Do you have some suggestions?” He asks, forcing me to stop wondering crazy things. 

“What?” I look at the TV. “I don’t know, I’m up for anything.” 

He looks back at the TV and keeps going through different movies until he stops in one.

“Have you watched this one?” I shake my head.

“Not that I remember.”

He puts the movie on and I move on the sofa trying to get more comfortable, but I end up sitting even closer to Baz. Baz doesn't seem to mind that and at the end, we are pressed together from shoulder to knee, and before I could think too much about it, I lay my head on his shoulder and after a second Baz says.

“Wait.” He pushes me kindly away from his shoulder, but then he puts his arm around my shoulders and brings me closer again.

“That’s better,” I say laying my head again.

“It is.” He lays his head on top of mine.

The movie starts, but I honestly am not paying any attention. I don’t even know what the movie is about it. All I know is that I’m very comfortable here on Baz’s sofa, with him by my side. 

After some minutes, Baz starts to trace with his fingers the moles on my forearm. I don’t know if he knows what he’s doing, but it’s nice and after debating with myself if I should just enjoy this feeling, or if I should do something else, I look up, the best way I can and Baz lifts his head to look at me too.

I lean in his direction and before I close my eyes, I can see that he does it too. A second later his lips are on mine and I forget everything else around me. Baz kisses me with so much enthusiasm that I feel forced to do the same and I never felt so happy in being forced to do something. 

Baz’s lips seem to fit so perfectly with mine, that it’s almost like we were made to do this. His lips are cold and mine are hot, so it’s the perfect match. And it’s perfect to make me just stop worrying about nonsense and just enjoy the moment, enjoy the feeling of Baz’s lips on mine, of his hands on my neck.

We keep kissing without moving for a while, but then I lay on the couch, pulling Baz with me, and being here, with him on top of me it’s more comfortable than it should. 

I put my hands on Baz’s hair and now I realize that I wanted to do this since we met, so I let my fingers pull his hair, gently, and if his hair looks amazing, it feels even more. 

After some minutes we are both breathless, but Baz doesn't stop to breathe. His lips go to my jaw and then my neck and it feels so good that I want to scream, especially when he starts to suck my neck, and I’m sure it will leave a love bite, but I don’t mind at all, I want him to do it again.

Baz keeps exploring my neck, and it’s getting harder to not make any sound, so eventually, I stop worrying about that and start to moan, which Baz must like because it makes him moan too. And that does something with me.

Every concern I had before faded away, but then I realize that I’m getting hard and when Baz lets his body fall on mine, I feel that he’s getting hard too and that’s enough to bring all my insecurities and bad thoughts back to my mind. 

A second later, I feel his fingers inside my shirt, and I try to pull him closer and at the same time to push him away. I don’t know what I want. I want him but at the same time, I want to stop. So, instead of trying to calm us down and tell Baz what is on my head, I start to mumble incoherent words, and Baz must take that as an incentive because he starts to suck another love bite in my neck.

My mind is so in a conflict that I end up yelling. “I never had sex before.” But because I’m having some trouble to think it goes out like. “Ineverahexfore.” But that’s enough for Baz to pull away and look confused at me.

“What?” It doesn't look like he understood me. So, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and try to say again.

“I … I never had sex before.” I feel my whole face burning, and I can’t look at Baz now because if I do I might die of embarrassment. I almost can hear Penny saying ‘dramatic’. 

There’s a minute of silence that almost looks like an hour until Baz speaks again. 

“That’s okay, we don’t have to do anything, I didn’t intend to pressure you or something like that.” He pulls my chin making me look at him. “And I’m sorry for the silence, I was just a bit surprised, but that’s okay.” He kisses my cheeks. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.” That makes me blush even more. 

“It’s not that I never wanted to, I just never met someone that I wanted to do this, someone I liked or trusted enough.” I look at his chin because I can’t look at his eyes. “Someone like you.” His fingers brush my cheeks. “And I like you a lot.” He pulls my chin again and I look at him.

“That's okay.” He repeats. “And I like you a lot too.” He smiles and kisses me again, but this time it’s a quick kiss. “And like I said we don’t need to do anything, I think it would be better if we take things slow. I just got lost in the moment.” This time I can see a blush on his cheeks.

“I got lost in the moment too.” This time I kiss his cheek. “It’s easy to get lost with you.” He smiles and kisses me again. 

“I have to agree with you.” He kisses me one more time before pulling away and sitting again.

He takes my hand and helps me to sit by his side, but then he looks at something on me and smiles but looks embarrassed at the same time. 

“What?” I try to look where he is looking but I can’t.

“Sorry, I might have left some marks on your neck.” With that, I stop trying to look and smile too.

“Oh, I imagined that it would have been marked.” I get closer to him. “But next time it’s my turn.” He smirks.

“I look forward to that.” I kiss him and then I sit back.

“Okay, let’s really watch the movie then.”

**Baz**

It’s hard to stop thinking about Simon. I feel like the whole air is filled with him like even if I tried I couldn’t stop thinking about him. (But I didn’t try, so I wouldn’t know.)

After spending a really good time with him yesterday I was convinced that what was happening between us was more intense and serious than I thought before. But I was excited about that, it was something new but great to me. 

Simon left last night after a controlled (or something like that) kisses session. And if yesterday taught me something was that it would be hard to take things slow as I wanted before. But I would try it because I knew it would be the right call, especially after what Simon told me. 

I admit that I was very surprised to know that he never had sex before, I thought that at least with his ex-girlfriend he would have done something. And well, he is really hot, so I can’t find an answer to why he hasn't had sex yet, except for what he told me. That he never met someone that he truly wanted to do it. 

And well, if yesterday proves something, I would say that he wants me and that thought sends a shiver down my spine. And beyond the memories of yesterday, I have two love bites to prove it as well. Simon was serious about having his turn, sometime before the nightfall we started kissing again and he took the lead, which was fine by me, like really fine. 

He sucked a mark on my neck and another in my collarbone, and if at the time it was amazing, and it was, now it was a nightmare because I had to go to my parents' house in a few minutes and I had to do something to cover that up. Especially because Dev was going and I would never hear the end of it. 

Luckily I had some make-up at my flat (it was a real help some days), so I was able to cover the mark on the neck. The other one I didn’t mind in cover because the shirt would cover enough. But I don’t want to waste the opportunity to tease Simon, so of course I send him a text.

**Baz (08:34):** You’re in real trouble.

I didn’t expect him to answer me already, so I’m surprised by his reply.

**Simon (08:34):** what did i do?

**Baz (08:34):** You left marks on me yesterday, and now I’m going to meet my parents.

**Baz (08:34):** And I don’t think that talking about that it’s a good topic for a conversation with them, or with my cousin, that will be joining us today.

**Simon (08:35):** hey i was just returning the favour

**Simon (08:35):** but im sorry

**Simon (08:35):** i didn't remember that you would see your parents today

**Baz (08:36):** Lucky for you, or me, I was able to cover it up.

**Simon (08:36):** now im not sorry, Penny saw mine last night and now she wont stop talking about it 

That makes me laugh, but at the same time to feel sorry for him. Penny would never let him forget that. 

**Baz (08:37):** Well, I won’t apologize until the end of the day, let’s see if my parents won’t really see anything.

**Baz (08:37):** I have to go now, but I will talk to you later.

I put my phone away and leave my flat at the same time that Dev calls. I just tell him that I’m already leaving because if I let it, he will start talking and won’t stop and I’ll already be hearing him a lot. 

When Dev enters my car I wait to see if he will say something about the mark on my neck, but he doesn't, so I guess I’m safe for now. 

The whole ride until my parents' house Dev keeps asking about the date with Simon and about last night, but when he sees that I won’t answer he changes the subject until he asks again. It’s really annoying, but kind of fun to let him wonder.

When we were close to the house, he moved on and started talking about Niall and their relationship, even about the parts that I didn’t ask or didn't want to know, but at least he wasn't asking about my relationship anymore. I mean, not that I have a relationship. Do I?

The kids surround us when we open the door, and luckily they already drag me with them upstairs so the twins can show me their new toys and books. With that, I only give a quick hello to my parents and they don’t even have time enough to look at me. 

I’m so worried that someone will see the marks on my skin that I keep trying to hide it with my hand, even though I’m just with the kids. I keep doing that until Mordelia asks me why I am acting weird, so I drop my hand and excuse myself to and go to the toilet. In there I lost some minutes looking at the mirror making sure that the make-up really covered everything.

We go downstairs when Dev’s parents arrive. Knowing that if the kids saw that I was acting weird, then the adults certainly would see it too, I try to stop worrying and start to participate in the conversation, answering my uncle’s questions.

After having a delicious lunch, we all go to the living room where the kids go back playing, Mordelia sits with her face on her phone, and my parents and Dev’s start talking about business and a lot of things that I don’t care about. 

But because of that, Dev and I end up in a corner of the room, and that allows Dev to go back asking me a hundred things. I answer some things, ignore others, until Dev gasps (luckily not so loud) and points at me.

“What?” I ask, confused.

“Looks like someone had fun yesterday?” He gets closer and pulls the collar of my shirt to the side and I freeze. I hadn’t covered up the mark on my collarbone because I thought that the shirt would cover, but I forgot that and opened two buttons after lunch. I run to close it again while Dev still laughs. “Oh my …” He laughs. “It was Simon who did this?” 

“Who is Simon?” My stepmother asks. I even saw that she was coming, but now everyone was looking at us. Well, at me. 

I glare at Dev first before I try to answer something. “Simon … Uh, he is someone I met.” In the corner of my eye, I see that Dev is still laughing.

“He is the boy you were texting last week?” Daphne asks with a smile. 

“Yes.” I nod. Oh my god, I would kill Dev and then Simon for marking me. I mean, I’m not very upset about the marks, it was very good. I’ll settle with killing Dev for the moment. 

Agnes, one of the twins comes to my side and asks. “Is he your boyfriend?” Maybe in the future, I think.

“No…” I start talking, but Dev completes with a muffled ‘Yet’. I glare at him before I keep answering her. “We are just texting.” Dev chokes, which I imagine is because he’s trying to pretend he’s not laughing. Trying to be discreet, I kick him in the ankle. 

“You should bring him to lunch someday,” Daphne says with a smile.

“Oh, that wouldn’t work, he lives in New York, he’ll go back in three weeks.” It was the first time that I really thought about those words. Simon would leave in three weeks. What does that mean for us?

“Well, then you have three weekends to choose a date.” She completes with a smile, before turning and changing the subject.

I turn to Dev and murmur ‘I will kill you', before getting lost in my thoughts. I always knew that Simon would leave eventually, but I never really stopped to think about it. Does that mean that we have an expiration date? Will we be together until he leaves and that’s it? 

Simon seems to really like me, and I really like him, so we could try a long-distance? Will he want that? Will I want that? 

My head buzzes with questions, but I don't have any answers. The only thing I could do now was wait to see how everything would be, enjoy the moments by Simon’s side and then talk to him, see if we both will be on the same page. 

And I hope we will. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, we're almost in the middle of the story and things are getting interesting.  
> I'm still a bit upset because the numbers of kudos and comments are very low, like I said before I'll write the story until the end because I like to write it, but I wanted to see more of your opinions here.   
> But thank you to everyone who is reading this story <3  
> I'll try to get back soon ;)


	7. Falling

**Baz**

All the questions I had about Simon leaving and what that meant for us, vanishes when I talk to him later on Sunday. He calls me and we talk, and even though I didn't mention the whole crisis inside my head, something in his voice made me calm down. Made me throw all the concern I had into a corner of my mind. I would worry about that another time. 

I tell him about my cousin seeing the love bite he gave me, but I don’t mention that Daphne invited him over, it was a bit too soon for him to know my family or for me to tell him that my family wanted to meet him. So, I left that part out and just focused on the embarrassment that Dev and Simon put me in. 

I pretended to be mad, but I was not, especially when Simon told me that I could have my revenge next time he would come to my place. After he said that, I appreciated, even more, the fact that I have my flat so we can have our privacy.

On Monday Simon and I don’t see each other, he has classes the whole day and I have two photoshoots, one of them outside of London, which makes me come back home very late. We text a lot the whole day, but even so, when I lay on my bed at night I’m already missing him, and I’d be annoyed at this feeling if the whole thing didn’t feel so good. 

I’m looking at my ceiling thinking about (guess who) Simon when my phone rings and I see his name, which makes me smile at the same time. Seriously, this boy was making me soft.

“Hey,” He greets me with his usual enthusiasm. “You weren’t sleeping already, right?”

“No, but I’m already in bed. I’m very tired.” At the same time, I yawn just to prove my point. 

“I will let you rest then.” 

“I can talk to you for some minutes before hanging up.” I really can, if he didn’t call me I would have called him. 

“Okay, then.” I can sense the smile on his voice. “Penny asked me to invite you to come to dinner tomorrow night. And I wanted to know if this week you will have some time off so we can have that second date on the coffee. That is if we are still doing the date thing.” I smile.

“Of course we are. And tell Penelope that I’ll be going tomorrow night.” He makes an approval noise. “And about the other question, maybe I can escape on Thursday afternoon, I don’t have any photoshoots, only a meeting with my boss in the morning.”

“Thursday it is then, I have class only until 2 p.m and then we can meet somewhere, I have to find a good coffee for us.”

“Great.” I yawn again and Simon laughs. 

“I’ll let you rest now, tomorrow morning I go back to bother you.” 

“I like it when you bother me.” Apparently, I have no filter when I’m sleepy.

“Good to know.” He laughs again. “Good night, Baz.”

“Good night, Simon.” He hangs up.

The silence is almost enough to make me close my eyes and sleep, but I’m still hearing Simon’s voice and laugh. I keep finding it impressive how much Simon is messing with my head and with my feelings. I really never felt this way before, not even when I was a teenager. 

And I used to think that it would never happen, that I would never allow myself to feel that way, to be so vulnerable for someone that could hurt me. But now that I was having this thing with Simon, I knew that I had no control over my feelings and somehow I knew that he wouldn't hurt me. At least not intentionally. 

With my thoughts filled with Simon, of course, that I dreamt with him. And from what I can remember it was a great dream. 

The next day passes in a blur, even though I don’t have too many things to do, I keep helping some of my coworkers and when I see it’s already time to leave. When I’m leaving I see Dev and Niall leaving too, wisely, Dev didn’t show up in front of me yesterday and today, he only sent Niall, afraid that I could actually kill him. 

“Hey,” Niall says when he sees me. “What a miracle. You are leaving at the same time as us?” 

“Not a miracle, I just didn’t have too many things to do today. No photoshoots or meetings, tomorrow I go back as my usual self don’t worry.” We enter the lift. “Hello, Dev. From what I can see you’re still hiding.”

“I’m not hiding, just being precautious.” I roll my eyes.

I’m about to say something when the lift doors open and I see my ex and his friends on the other side. I see that his eyes go directly at my neck, where the love bite that Simon left on me was very visible (I didn’t see any reasons to hide). He hesitates for a second, but then he follows his friends inside the lift. 

I see my friends eyes on me, but I’m already looking away, back to them. Despite what they believe I was not troubled by Richard’s presence, he was nothing to me. So, I just went back to talking to them.

“You should try to be precautious next time you visit my parents' house.” They both take a second to see that I kept the conversation.

“I will, I promise. Maybe I won’t even visit your parents anymore, just to be sure.” It’s Niall’s time to roll his eyes. 

“So, you’re going home?” Niall asks me.

“Yes, but then I’ll have dinner at Penelope’s.” They both smile at me.

“At Penelope’s, he says,” Dev smirks. “Only because of your friendship with her, right? Not because of the presence of a certain bloke.” These two are ridiculous, but I’m almost smiling. 

“Of course.” We’re keeping our voices low, but I’m not sure if the others on the lift didn’t hear. 

We reach the ground floor when my phone rings with a text that must be from Simon, and I’m already smiling even though I haven't seen the text yet.

“Babe, we need to meet this bloke, look at the smile on Baz’s face,” Dev says.

“I admit that I’m very curious to meet him,” Niall says when we leave the building. 

“You both are ridiculous.” I roll my eyes again because there’s no other thing to do. 

“Honestly Baz, you never acted like that with anyone before, and we know you since always. What’s happening between you both that is making you act so not like you?” I think in not answering the question, or changing the subject. But it was a valid question.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t know what is happening. I just … I like him and I know he likes me too, and I want to see where this will go.” 

“Own,” Dev says. “I think it’s the first time that you’re honest with us.” 

“And probably the last one,” I smirk when they roll their eyes at me. “I have to leave, I see you tomorrow.” I turn my back to them and keep walking while they say something that I don’t listen to. 

I walk into my flat almost thirty minutes later, which makes me run to take a shower. I wanted to get to Penny’s fast, it’s been two days since I saw Simon last time, and taking the risk of sounding cliche, I was missing seeing his face, kissing him. Luckily, when I read his texts I see that I was not the only one.

**Simon (17:38):** im already at home 

**Simon (17:38):** and im counting the minutes to see you

**Simon (17:38):** these two days without seeing you were weird

**Baz (18:41):** I agree, it was two weird days.

**Baz (18:41):** But I’m leaving my flat now, so in a few minutes I’ll be there. 

He doesn’t answer right away, so I put my phone in my pocket and leave the flat, wanting to see him as soon as possible. I walked for a while thinking about his texts, what he said about being weird not seeing each other, and that brings back the questions I had about what will happen with us at the end of his month here. 

Even if we stay together and try a long-distance relationship, will it work? Right now I’m already missing Simon and he’s only a few minutes away from me, how that will be once he’s on the other side of the ocean?

I get to Penny’s flat with a lot of questions in my head, even more than before, but I make myself to drop that for the moment, to let myself to worry about that only in the future. 

I knock on Penny’s door and a few seconds later Simon opens it, which already is enough to make me smile. 

“Hey,” He is smiling brightly at me. “I was wondering if you were already coming.” He takes my hand and pulls me closer to him, and then he kisses me. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” I kiss him again until Penny clears her throat.

“Oh my god, you both will be insufferable from now on, won’t you?” Despite her words, she is smiling at us.

“Well, you were the one who wanted to introduce us,” I say to her, closing the door behind me. “I texted you telling you that I was on my way.” Now I turn to Simon.

“Oh, my phone is charging in my room, I was helping Penny with the food.”

“You were cooking? I’m shocked.” He looks offended which makes me smirk. 

“Well, I was not really cooking, just helping Penny with some things, so don’t be so shocked.” He smiles at me now. “Come on, we have to wait for Shep to come home yet.” He pulls me to the sofa, where he sits making me sit by his side. 

“Everything is ready, only Shep is missing, so I’m gonna take a shower while we wait,” Penny says. “You, children behave, please.” It’s her time to smirk at us. 

It doesn't take five seconds after Penny leaves to Simon attack me, in the best way possible. He pulls me by the collar of my shirt and crashes his lips against mine. I wouldn't get tired of this ever, he always feels so good, so right. 

“What happened to the ‘behave’ part?” I tease him.

“I never said I would.” I feel his smile against my lips. “And it’s been two days that I don’t kiss you, so I think I deserve this. Unless you don’t want it.” He pushes back so he can look at me. 

“And who am I to say no to you?” He smiles again and leans down to kiss me again.

We only stop when we hear a door being open, Simon kisses me one more time before sitting back in his place. Some seconds later Penny comes back to the living room, looking suspicious at us, but then Shep opens the door. 

We greet him, and after him mocking me and Simon, we have dinner. It feels nice to be here with them, talking, joking about things, just being here enjoying the moment and not worrying about something else. 

**Simon**

It feels nice to have dinner with Baz, Penny and Shep. Although I would prefer to be alone with Baz, this works too. And I can see Baz relaxing on his chair while the dinner goes on, even with all the fun that Penny and Shep are having with us, mocking us, it’s nice. Comfortable. 

Something aches inside my chest when I look at this scene when I remember that in less than three weeks I’ll be going to New York and will be leaving all of this behind again. 

And now, not only I’d be leaving this place that I love, and my friends that I’d miss a lot, but I’d be leaving Baz too. We haven’t talked about that and I didn’t want to bring up the subject, I didn’t want to think about that until I had to. But now it was hard to ignore.

“Are you okay?” Baz asks me. Penny and Shep are discussing something that I don’t know. “You stopped talking and smiling.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I try to smile. “I’m just a bit tired, I didn't get a good night of sleep last night.”

“You want to go to sleep?” I shake my head.

“Not yet.” I hold his hand under the table and I hope he understands what I mean. I don’t want to go to sleep yet because he is here, and I want to be with him for now.

Penny yawns on the other side of the table, making us look at her. She already had told me that she was very tired and that her work was exhausting her. 

“Go rest Pen,” I tell her. “I clean everything here.”

“Really?” She asks.

“Yeah, you cooked, I’ll clean.” She smiles. “And I have Baz to help me.” I smile at him. 

“I'm a guest.” He pretends to be offended, but he’s smiling.

“So am I.” I realize I got closer to Baz when Penny sighs and says. 

“As I said, insufferable.” I’m not looking at her, but I know she is rolling her eyes. 

“Come on babe,” Shep stands taking Penny’s hand. “Let’s rest and leave them be insufferable alone.” He laughs and pulls Penny out of the kitchen with him. 

“So, this was your plan so we could be alone again?” Baz says with a smirk on his lips.

“It wasn’t, but I’m glad it worked this way.” Baz’s lips are almost touching mine when I pull back and stand. He looks very confused at me. “First let’s clean the kitchen.” It’s my time to smirk at him. 

He complains, but he helps me to clean the table and wash the dishes. We talk a bit while we do that, but we stay mostly in silence. And it’s comfortable, to just be by his side, doing something so domestic, it’s good.

After we finish I take Baz’s hand and pull him with me so we can go to my room. After our talk on Saturday I was not freaking out anymore because of the sex thing, it was nice to tell someone that, to share with him what was on my mind. 

“If you want to sleep I can leave,” Baz says.

“I don’t want to sleep yet, and I don’t want you to leave yet.” Even though we were kind of together now, saying these things to him still makes me blush.

“Okay then.” He smiles and lays down by my side. 

I barely leave him lay down, and then I’m already pulling him to me, so I can kiss him. Now that I have kissed him I didn’t want to stop. I just want more. 

We stay like that for I don’t know how long (and I don’t care), but eventually we calm ourselves. Baz keeps giving me lazy kisses on my cheeks and my lips, and then he suddenly stops which makes me open my eyes. 

I’m laying on his arm, and we’re facing each other, laying like that makes him still taller than me, and I have to look-up a bit so I can look at his eyes. He’s observing me, with an expression that I can’t decipher, and at this moment I don’t have enough energy to try.

“Why did you stop?” He smiles at my question. 

“I just wanted to look at you for a second, and I thought you had fallen asleep.” I kiss his cheeks and then his lips like he was doing it with me.

“I don’t want you to go,” I confess.

“I don’t want to go either,” He whispers against my lips. “But unfortunately, I have to.” He pulls back so he can look at me. “I have an early photoshoot tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I didn’t want him to think that I’m too clingy, so I let him go. “I guess that now I’ll have to wait until Thursday then.” 

“Speaking of which, did you already choose the place?” I shake my head.

“No, but I have a really good guide from London in the other room, so I just need to ask her.” He laughs. “Don’t worry, I will choose a nice place.”

“I don’t care about the place, I just wanted to know so I could organize myself, but I’ll let in your hands then.” He looks at the watch on his wrist. “I really have to go.” He says, but he doesn't move. 

I lean into him ready to give him a last kiss, a quick kiss, but he pulls me and kisses me intensely, and I’m not complaining about it, so I do the same. When we are breathless, he pulls away. 

“Go then, if we keep doing this I won’t let you go.” He laughs.

“Maybe I don’t want you to let me go.” 

“Baz.” I almost groan. 

“Okay.” He laughs and sits, making me sit too, then he puts his shoes back, (he took it off before laying down.) and stands. 

“Come on, I’ll take you to the door.” I stand and take his hand pulling him out of my room. I thought it was better when I did the opposite. 

“I don’t know how long the photoshoot will be, but I’ll talk to you later okay?” I nod. 

“Tomorrow I have a day full of classes anyway, so I’ll probably be free to talk only at lunch and night.” He nods this time.

“Good night then, Simon.” He leans down and kisses me, but this time it’s just a peck on the lips. 

“I like it when you say my name.” We’re still close to each other, I can feel his breath on my face, my eyes are still closed, but I know he’s smiling. I give him another kiss before stepping away and opening my eyes. “Good night, Baz.” 

He gives one last kiss on my cheek and then he leaves. I close the door still thinking about his lips on mine, the way he makes me feel. I always saw my friends start dating and start to fall in love and I used to think that something was wrong with me because I never went through that. 

But now … I’m not saying that I’m falling in love, I think it’s too soon to that, but something is happening, I keep thinking and saying that I like Baz, but even this, even saying this ‘I like him’ seems too small to what I’m really feeling. 

I don’t want to worry too much about that, to keep thinking all the time trying to figure out what is really happening. So, I’ll just see where this goes, see where my feelings will go. Enjoy these moments with Baz and the rest I can deal with later. 

Even though I’m a bit tired and sleepy, it takes some time for me to shut down my mind and sleep. Especially because when I lay down, I start to think about New York and my father, and I realize that he didn't call me once since I came here. I was so involved with Baz that I haven't stopped to think about that. 

I called him when I got here in Penny’s flat, but since then he didn’t call me once. I don’t know why this upsets me so much. I know he is like this, I have known for years, but still, it hurts. 

If my mother was alive, she would call me every day to see how I was doing, to see if I was liking this trip. I would tell her about Baz and she would keep asking me things and saying that she would want to meet him. 

But my father is not like her. I can’t even imagine telling him that I’m dating a bloke, because I honestly don’t know how he would react. I never told him that I was bi in part because he never cared about me, and in part, because I’m afraid. He’s not an easy person to deal with, but he’s the only family I have left. 

I do fall asleep eventually, but thinking about all of this makes me dream about my father meeting Baz and yelling at me, saying that he never wanted to see me again and that I’m not his son. That my mother would be ashamed of me. It wasn't a good night of sleep. 

The next day is terrible. I wake up with a terrible headache, and even though I try to concentrate on my classes, I can’t. And because of that, I end up not giving my best on my drawings, and more than five times a teacher had to ask me twice for something that I didn’t hear the first time because I wasn’t paying attention. And that could make a difference in the end, it could make the companies not want to hire me. So, I end up feeling even worse after that. 

I go home after the classes are over, luckily Penny and Shep aren't home yet, and I think Baz is still working, so I throw myself on my bed and close my eyes. I try to force myself to sleep because I honestly had enough of this day, but I can’t. 

Some minutes later I hear the front door being open and not much after that Penny knocks on my door. I murmur some answer and she opens my door. 

“Si? Are you okay?” My arm is over my eyes, but I feel it when she sits on the mattress.

“Bad day,” I say.

“Do you want to talk?” I don’t know. A part of me wants to take this out of my head, out of my chest. But a part of me just wants to let that be forgotten. “It’s something to do with Baz?” I shake my head. 

“It’s my father,” I say. 

“What about your father?” I take the arm off my face and sit on my bed.

“I was thinking about him last night, the fact that he hasn't called me yet, and because of that I had some crappy nightmares about it.” She doesn't say anything. She just waits for me to keep going. “I never told him you know, that I liked boys too. And you know how he is, I started to think about telling him and about how he would react.”

“You don’t have to tell him if you’re not ready.”

“It’s not that I’m not ready. It’s because I only see two types of reactions coming from him. Or he won’t even pay attention because he doesn’t care about me at all, or he will hate me, be ashamed of me, will say terrible things and won’t want to see me again.” I look at her. “And I don’t know what is worse, he not caring enough about me, or he caring a bit and hating me after.”

“Do you really believe that are the only options?” I nod.

“I know my father Penny. If my mother was alive, maybe things would be different, she would support me, I know she would, and she could change his mind. But she is not. She was the voice of the reason on his head, and now he doesn't have that anymore.” She just looks at me for some seconds before asking.

“Why is that bothering you now? I never heard you saying things like this, worrying about this. So, why now?” 

“I kept thinking about Baz and me, and I don’t know what will happen in the future, I want to be with him and maybe it’s too soon to think about it, but I want to be with him even after I go back to New York, and if that happens, I’d like to introduce him to my friends there and even to my father. But even if we don’t work, being bisexual is who I am, and I don’t want to keep hiding from my father, pretending that this is not a part of me. I don’t want that.” 

“I can’t say that I understand completely what you are feeling now, and I know that you don’t want to keep your father out of your life. But you can’t let these thoughts guide you. If you want to tell your father, if you want to stop hiding, then tell him. I know you are afraid, but it’s better to take this weight of you, much better than keep wondering and having these thoughts, letting these things ruin your day.” She takes my hand. “And who knows, maybe he’ll surprise you. And even if he won’t, you’ll still have all the other people who support you, who will be here for you, starting with me.” I lay my head on her shoulder.

“Thank you, Pen, and I know that. It’s just … I already knew that if I came back living here, I would come without him. I knew that we would live separate lives, but I never wanted to never see him again, to stop talking to him for good. And I have this impression that when I tell him, this is what's going to happen. And I know he never was the father of the year, but he’s still my father.”

“I know,” He starts to brush my hair with her fingers. “But it isn't worth it to keep wondering all these things for now. Once you go home, you can start working on that, maybe try to get closer to him before telling him, try to see how he is reacting to you. Now, you have an amazing trip to enjoy, an amazing opportunity that could turn into a job and a gorgeous bloke who is crazy about you.” That makes me smile a bit. “I’m not saying that you should let it go, only for you not to start to get anxious over something that you can’t control.” 

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am.” This makes me laugh.

“I’ll try to worry about that only when I have to.” She nods. “I think I’ll take a shower and get some sleep.”

“Already?” She looks at the hour on her phone. “It’s not even seven yet.”

“I know, I’m just too tired and as I said the day wasn’t good.” She nods and stands. 

“Then I’ll leave you to rest, but if you need to talk just call me okay?”

“Okay.” I try to smile at her. 

I follow her out of my room and go take a good and long shower. After that, I go back to my room and lay down. I sent a text to Baz letting him know that I was going to sleep, and then I turned my phone off because I knew that if he texted me back I would want to keep talking to him and today I just want to sleep. 

I could talk to him tomorrow, when (if I had some luck) I would be feeling better. Even with all the things inside my mind, it’s easy to fall asleep tonight. 

**Baz**

I’m a bit worried about Simon. 

But I don’t know if I’m being too exaggerated about it. The thing is, we barely talked today, I was very busy and so was he. But I thought that we would talk at night, once both of us were already at home. So, I was surprised when I saw his text once I was in my flat.

**Simon (18:32):** hey, im a bit tired, so im gonna try to sleep 

**Simon (18:32):** ill talk to you tomorrow

I thought of calling him to see if he was okay, something in his text made me wonder if he was just tired or if he wasn’t telling me something. But I gave up the idea once I realized that if he wanted to talk to me, he would have said that, and he said he would talk to me tomorrow, so I guess he doesn't want to talk now. 

I think about calling Penelope too, but again I have to stop myself. He just said he was tired. Maybe that’s all that it is, really. So, I just text him back.

**Baz (19:05):** Are you okay?

**Baz (19:05):** If you need to talk, you can call me, okay?

**Baz (19:05):** But either way, I’ll see you tomorrow.

**Baz (19:06):** Good night, Simon.

I wait some minutes to see if he will reply, but he doesn’t, so I’m guessing that he’s already sleeping. 

The rest of the night I keep thinking about that. Wondering if Simon is fine, or if I’m just overreacting, I hope that it’s the second option. Luckily tomorrow we have our date so I would see for myself how he truly was. 

My stepmother calls me to know how I was and to try to find out more about Simon, she pretends that it’s not that, but she’s not a good actress. It’s not unusual for her to call me, she tries to call every week, but her questions let it clear that her intentions are not knowing about my well-being. 

After that I go to sleep feeling lighter than before, talking with Daphne always makes me feel good, or at least better than before. And talking to her made me think about other things, made me forget Simon for a second. We talked about my brothers and about the twins' birthday that was already coming.

So, I go to sleep, still worrying a bit about Simon, but also worrying about the presents for the twins that I still haven't bought.

I woke up already jumping from the bed, I was a few minutes late, so I had to run to get ready. I don’t have to be in the office every day, usually only when we have meetings or I have to work on some photos, but I liked to be on time, and I do have a meeting this morning. 

Only when I get to the office I take my phone and I see that Simon texted me, and that makes me relax, he was not avoiding me then. I confess that after his texts last night that was a possibility that I didn’t want to think too much. 

**Simon (07:54):** good morning

**Simon (07:54):** thank you for the offer, if i need i will call you

**Simon (07:54):** and im fine, i just wasn't feeling very well yesterday

**Simon (07:55):** but we can talk about this another time

**Simon (07:55):** you’ll be free this afternoon?

**Simon (07:55):** i found a nice coffee shop, do we meet there?

So I was right, he wasn’t fine yesterday, at least he sounds better now.

**Baz (09:12):** Good morning.

**Baz (09:12):** I’m glad that you’re feeling better.

**Baz (09:12):** And I’m still here if you want to talk.

**Baz (09:13):** I’ll be free this afternoon, which time do you leave class today?

**Simon (09:13):** i’ll leave at 2 p.m

**Simon (09:13):** do you want me to send you the address?

I think for a second and I ask him for the address, so he will think that we’ll meet there, but I have an idea of surprising Simon by picking him up after his classes. 

I was a bit anxious to see Simon, to check on him and see for myself if he was okay. It’s impressive, how in so little time I already care so much about him. In this time that we have known each other, I saw that he’s this kind of person who cheers up everyone and every place he is.

It’s hard to explain, but I feel that he is so bright, so full of life, almost like the sun. And I know that everyone has a bad day, it's impossible for a person to be okay every day, but still, I worry about Simon not being fine, I want to make him feel better. 

With the meeting I have with my boss, I almost don’t have time to worry about anything else. Me and him, and some other people who work with me, stayed almost the whole morning reunited because he wanted new ideas for our next editions, he was worried that the magazine was starting to be dull. 

When he finally lets us go, the others go back to their jobs, but I leave the building, because I have some advantages being the photographer and because in half an hour Simon would be leaving class, so I had to run if I wanted to surprise him.

Luckily, I’m able to get there ten minutes before the time, so I take my phone to look at something while I wait for him. Only a few minutes later, I hear voices and I look up and see some people leaving the building.

I don’t see Simon at first, but then I spot him. He’s looking down, but I can see that he’s not with a happy face, and there is a bloke by his side talking. Simon looks up and even though I never saw that expression on his face, I’d bet he’s annoyed and I’d bet that the bloke on his side is the annoying one that he already complained.

I start to think what I could do to get him free of that bloke, when Simon turns his head and sees me and I swear his whole face lights up, and he smiles one of his breathtaking smiles. Well, that’s enough to make me smile too, of course.

He says something to the bloke on his side, but I don’t hear what it is, and he even waits for the answer, before walking to me. Once he’s close enough, he throws his arm around my neck, and as I never say no to have him this close, I put my hands on his waist and bring him closer. He hugs me for a second, before stepping away and kissing me.

Once he breaks apart I see that the annoying bloke is still staring at us, I guess someone else had a crush on Simon too. Too bad for him.

“I’m guessing this means you liked that I came here?” I ask him.

“Of course I did.” He smiles again. “I was missing you.”

“Me too.” The bloke was still staring at us. “You know, the annoying colleague of yours is staring at us,” I say, without looking away from Simon. 

“He is more than annoying,” He rolls his eyes. “But let’s go, I believe I have to take you on a date.” He smiles and kisses me again.

“I believe you do, so please lead the way.” He takes my hand and we start to walk.

He starts to talk about his classes and I knew that he was fine, now that I was seeing him, I could believe in that, so I just had to relax and enjoy his company. 

We walked for about ten minutes until we reached the coffee place that Simon chose. It was a nice and cosy coffee, I already had seen the place, but I never had gone in. We sit at a table in the corner of the coffee shop and I let Simon choose my coffee because he thinks he already knows exactly how I like it. (He does.)

“So,” I say when he sits back. “Are you really feeling better?” I didn’t want to drag his mood down, but I also didn’t want him to pretend he was fine when he wasn’t.

“How did you know that I was not feeling well?” He asks instead of answering me. “I only told you I was tired.” 

“Call it intuition.” I shrug. “Despite your text, I felt that something was off with you.” He’s looking down at the table, but I see a hint of a smile on his face for a second.

“I just had bad nightmares on the night before yesterday, about my father, and it messed up with my head yesterday.” I reach for his hand on top of the table.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He shakes his head.

“I already talked to Penny yesterday, and I’m feeling better. I just don’t want to keep thinking about it.” 

“Okay, let’s talk about other things then.” He smiles this time. “How are your classes going?”

“It’s going well, but I’m a bit worried.” I frown.

“Why?”

“I didn't want to tell anyone yet, but they told us that two companies will hire two people each after the end of the program, two companies from here, so it’s just the opportunity I wanted. But now I don’t know if I’ll get the job offer, there are a lot of people better than me in there and these last two days, because of this thing with my father I barely paid attention to the classes and it affected my drawings, and I know the teachers saw it.” I squeeze his hand.

“Hey, don’t worry about this now, you still have half of the program in front of you to show them how good you are, and I know you will.” He opens his mouth to protest, but I cut him. “I know you don’t think you are very good, but I know you are, and if you weren't you wouldn't have been chosen for this program.”

“Maybe …” He looks at the table again.

“And even if at the end you don’t get a job offer, it’s not the end, you will have other opportunities. And you know, you have people in here, we can look for jobs for you, so don’t think about this as the end of your dream to come back here, it’s just the beginning.” He smiles a bit now. “But you really shouldn't worry about this now, just enjoy your classes and give your best.”

“I will, thank you.” He looks at me. “And …” Whatever Simon was about to say is interrupted by an unfortunately familiar voice.

“I can’t believe it.” I look up and Simon turns his head to see my stupid cousin and his stupid boyfriend coming in our way with huge grins. “I can’t believe our luck,” Dev smirks while I roll my eyes. “You must be Simon.” He takes a chair on the table next to ours and sits. 

“And you must be Dev and Niall,” Simon answers also with a smile. 

“Own, my loving cousin talked about us.” Dev turns to me now, luckily Niall is still standing so I know they won’t stay here for too long. 

“Only the worse,” I reply. “What are you two doing here anyway?”

“We had a meeting until now, and because of that we lost lunchtime, so they let us come to eat now,” Niall answers, I didn’t realize we were this close to the magazine. “What about you?”

“I didn’t have anything this afternoon.” I shrug. “Now, if you both already got what you wanted, then please leave, you’re interrupting our date.” Simon is still smiling like this whole thing was entertaining. 

“Well, we will, but first, let me take this opportunity to invite you both to go out with us tomorrow after work,” Dev says. “Some people from the office invited us to that new pub that opened last week, you know, and I know you don’t like to go out with us, but it’s Simon’s chance to go see a bit of the nightlife of London.” I look at Simon and raise my eyebrow in a silent question.

“Uh … Okay, I think it would be fun.” He answers making Dev grins again.

“Perfect, when they decide the hour I’ll pass it to you.” He says to me.

“Fine, now you can leave?” Niall laughs.

“Come on babe, we already bothered them enough.” He says to Dev. 

“Okay,” Dev luckily stands. “It was a pleasure to meet you finally Simon, especially after hearing so much about you.” He smirks again, and Simon looks at me smiling. 

“Please, forgive my dumbass boyfriend,” Niall says, with Dev replies with a ‘Hey’. “But it was nice to meet you.” Simon laughs.

“It was nice to meet you both too.”

“We will see you both tomorrow then,” Dev smirks at us again. “Enjoy your date.” He almost sings as he turns away, which makes Niall roll his eyes.

“Oh my god, he is an idiot sometimes.” He says.

“Sometimes?” I ask, making Niall roll his eyes again, I was a bad influence on my friends. 

“Goodbye to you two, I see you tomorrow.” He turns and follows his boyfriend. 

“They’re impossible.” I shake my head.

“I liked them,” Simon says, still smiling. “And don’t worry, I talk about you the whole time too.” That makes me smile. “The difference is that I talk about you with people that already know you.” I laugh.

“Good to know.” He holds my hand again. “And we don’t have to go out with them if you don’t want it.” Maybe he said that before because he felt pressured. 

“That’s okay, I don’t have any plans for tomorrow anyway.” He shrugs. “Unless you don’t want to go, I mean, there will be other people there, people you work with, and if you don’t want me to go that’s fine. I know we are together for like a week, so it’s fine if …” He’s babbling, so I squeeze his hand, making him stop.

“I don’t care about that, and it could be fun for us to do something different. I just wanted to make sure that you wanted it.” He smiles and then nods. 

“I do, I still haven't been to a pub, and your friends seem nice.”

“Only because you meet them for five minutes.” He laughs. 

“Oh please, you like them, more than you want to admit.” I shrug which makes Simon laugh again. 

“Maybe.” I’m smiling now too. 

He only laughs one more time, and then the subject is forgotten and we start to talk about different things. 

It would be nice to go out with Simon and my idiotic friends. Despite it all, Simon was right, I liked them too much, they are important to me and I would like them to like Simon. And I was positive that it would happen.

**Simon**

I was a bit nervous.

After all, it was the first time that I would meet Baz’s friends, officially of course. I don’t count our brief meeting yesterday, it barely let us know our names. So, I was nervous. 

Baz already knew my closest friends, he was friends with my closest friends, but his friends otherwise were a different thing. And I knew Baz cared about them, certainly, he would care for their opinion. So, I want them to like me. 

The good thing about the nervousness is that I almost forgot about my father. It was something that was still on my head, but I was not upset anymore, well, not too much upset. I did what Penny suggested and stopped worrying (I’m trying), at least for now. It wouldn't make me no good to keep feeding this anxiety.

So, I would worry about that when I had to. 

Right now I had to worry about Baz’s friends and how I would do it to make them like me. And even though I have a feeling that they didn't care so much about clothes like Baz did, I asked Penny to help me to dress properly, so I could look good (of course that looking good for Baz was also my goal).

And now I was close to his flat, so we could go together. He wanted to go get me, but as he already did that on our two dates (I loved when he showed up to pick me after my classes), I wanted to pick him up today. 

I knock on his door and only a few seconds later he opens the door and I think (again) how lucky I am for being with him for now. Seriously, my first thought about Baz was still true, he was the most handsome bloke I’ve already met. I look at him from head to toe, and when I look back at him I see that he’s staring at me with his eyebrow raised. So hot. 

“Uh …” I try to make an excuse. “You…” My brain really doesn’t work at some moments. 

"Very eloquent.” He says, but there’s a smirk on his lips.

As I never was too good with words, I go for action and pull him to me, crashing our lips and kissing him in the way he likes. With a lot of enthusiasm.

“You look hot,” I whisper in his ear, which makes him shiver a bit. That makes me smirk and I take the opportunity to bite his earlobe, and that must take him by surprise because he groans softly.

“Simon.” He whines. “We have to go, and if you don’t stop I’ll pull you inside my flat and we won’t go anywhere.” I laugh.

“Fine.” I step back. “I guess we’ll have time for this later.” This time he smirks.

“All the time you want.” He lets his lips touch mine for a second before stepping away. "But now let's go.”

The pub was not very far from Baz’s place, it was close to his work (as he told me), but we were already late, so we got an uber to get there faster. Baz’s friends were already there, just like a lot of his coworkers, so we would be one of the last to get there. 

I was getting nervous and Baz must have sensed it, because he squeezes my hand, kisses my cheek, and the way he looks at me … Let’s just say that it’s a shame that we will be surrounded by a bunch of people for the next hours.

Almost ten minutes later we get to the pub, there is a group of three people in front of the pub talking, we almost pass through them, but one of them greets Baz.

“Oh, hey,” He says. “I didn’t recognize you three.” Somehow, I think it's because of Baz’s voice, I know he doesn’t like these three. “Dev and Niall are waiting inside, but I’ll see you later.” He turns and takes me in before they could reply. “Those three are the gossip ones from the office,” He explains. “And their gossips are usually the mean kind.”

“I imagined that you didn’t like them,” I say. 

He starts to look for Dev and Niall and then when he looks to a corner and he freezes, it’s only for a second, he turns his head to the other side on the moment after that, but I was looking at him and his arm was around my waist so I felt the way he got tense, and I could see his mouth was a thin line now. 

I look at the place where he looked before and I see a bloke looking at us, he seems to be around our age, maybe a bit older, and he is very handsome. He’s looking at Baz, not at me, so he doesn't see me staring at him, but before he could sense my eyes on him, I looked to another place. 

That must be his ex, Richard. The way Baz tensed up, the way he was looking at us, was proof enough for me. 

Baz finds his friends and we start to walk in their direction, but before we get there, I need to check if Baz was okay. I know he already said that he doesn’t feel anything for his ex and that Penny might have exaggerated a bit about the whole thing, but still. I still felt weird meeting Agatha and we broke up on good terms. 

“Hey,” I say, making him look at me. “Are you okay?” He nods but still doesn’t say a word. “That was your ex, right?” He sighs and closes his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t know he would be here.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what you are thinking now, but this wasn’t on purpose, and I didn’t bring you here to make him jealous or …” I kiss him, in part to make him stop talking and in part because I always want to. 

“Baz, that even crossed my mind. I know you wouldn’t do something like that. I was just worried that you might not want to stay here because of him.” His eyes soften after my words.

“You’re incredible, you know that?” I smile, feeling my heart flutter at his words. “And I’m okay, I won’t let him ruin our night. I meant it when I said that Penny exaggerated with the break-up thing, he doesn’t mean anything to me. I was just worried about what you might think.” I kiss him again.

“Then you don’t have to worry.” I kissed him one last time. “And I wouldn’t mind making him jealous.” I shrug and Baz smiles. 

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now come on, Dev and Niall must be wondering why we are taking so long to go to their table.”

He takes my hand and leads me to his friends' table, Dev and Niall are talking to another two blokes, but they look up when they see us.

“Finally, I was wondering why you were taking so long.” Dev says, making Baz look at me with a ‘didn’t I told you’ look. 

“We got a bit late,” Baz says before sitting. “Hello, boys.” He greets the other blokes on the table. “Simon, these are Rhys and Garret. Boys, this is Simon …” I notice that he doesn’t know how to end that sentence so he just pretends he didn’t intend to say something else.

“Hi, nice to meet you.” I greet them.

They greet me back, and then they start to talk about work and my mind starts to wonder about what Baz didn't say. What are we exactly? Is it too soon to have that conversation? We are together and going out on dates, but are we dating? Do I want to date Baz? To be his boyfriend? (Hell yes, my mind screams.) But does he want to date me?

That sounds like a conversation that Baz and I should have at another time, so I try to focus on the conversation on the table. They are still talking about work, so I didn’t miss too much, they were now talking about the fashion week, so Baz is dragged into the conversation. I see that some other people joined us at the table, and I can spot Baz’s ex close to us. 

Baz doesn’t seem to realize that, if he does he doesn't seem to care. His arm is at the back of my chair, almost like he was hugging me, and he seems relaxed, it’s good to see him this way.

“This conversation must be boring you to death,” Dev says to me. “Sorry, we try to hang out after work to relax, but the work doesn't leave us.” I laugh. 

“That’s okay, it’s the thing you all have in common after all.” 

“What do you work with, Simon?” One of Baz’s coworkers, Rhys or Garret, asks me. 

“I’m a designer.” 

“Oh, that must be nice.” I nod, not knowing what else to say. Luckily another of Baz’s coworkers that I didn’t know the name, makes another question.

“How did you two met?” I look at Baz and he looks a bit annoyed, but mostly he seems amused. 

“We met on a plane,” I say with a smile. “Both of us were coming from New York and were sitting together.” 

“No, you’re cutting the cute part,” Dev says. “They met on the plane, but then when they got to London they went separate ways until they met again at the house of a friend in common that wanted to introduce them for years.” 

“Awn, that’s so cute.” One girl sitting on Baz’s side says. 

“And how long are you together?” Another person asks. 

“Two weeks, and why have we become the subject of the conversation?” Baz asks. So, he was considering the whole time we met as the time we are together? I like that. 

“Because you never tell us anything, we have to take this opportunity,” Rhys says, or Garret. I really can’t tell them apart. 

“Okay, okay,” Dev says. “Let’s move on to another conversation and leave the lovely couple alone.” Then he gets closer to us and whispers. “But that doesn’t count us, we still want to know everything.” He points at him and Niall. 

“He’s usually an idiot, but I agree with him, I also want to know everything,” Niall says, also grinning. 

“You both are idiots,” Baz says to them, but he’s also smiling. “But we should go out another time just the four of us.” They both nod, Dev very enthusiastically, before going back to the conversation on the table. 

“If you want to go just say the word, okay?” Baz says in my ear.

“Okay, but I’m fine by now, and I don’t mind them being curious about us.” I look at him. “I’m also a bit curious about us.” He smiles. 

“Really?” He asks. “Then, tell me what you are curious about?” 

“I’ll tell you later.” I kiss his cheek and turn back to the other people on the table.

The conversation keeps going, sometimes they include me in the conversation, but mostly they talk between themselves, but I don’t mind. Baz almost doesn't talk either, I can see that he’s out of his element by being with so many people in here, but he doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable either. 

The hours pass, but I almost don’t feel it, it’s fun to be here with different people and with Baz of course. But if I’m honest, after almost three hours, I was already wanting to be with Baz only.

“Not that I’m not having fun now, but I wouldn't mind us being alone.” He smirks.

“I was thinking the same thing.” And then he was already standing and telling everyone that we were leaving. 

Dev and Niall complain for some time, but then Baz convinces them that we’ll go out with them another time, the people sitting close to us give us goodbyes and cheers.

“It was nice to meet you, please join us when you want, you definitely should come to our Christmas party.” One of the blokes says. 

“I appreciate the invitation, but I live in New York and I’ll go back in two weeks.”

“Oh, so you both are not together for real then.” Everyone looks to the other side of the table, and we see that the voice came from one of the blokes who is sitting close to Baz’s ex. I don’t know why but I had the impression that it was him who wanted to do the question and not that other random bloke.

“Why not?” I ask looking at them. I feel Baz tensing up at my side.

“Well, if you live in another continent …”

“Long-distance relationships already exist, didn’t you get the memo?” Baz’s voice is cold, which I think it’s a bit hot. What I don’t think it’s hot about him anyway?

“And don’t worry, our relationship is very real,” I say with a smile. “It was very good to meet you all.” I turn to the other people, and Baz seems more relaxed now. 

“I’ll see you all on Monday.” He says and then we leave. 

It takes about one minute after we leave the pub for Baz to turn to me and say.

“I’m sorry about that I…”

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong.” I take his hand and pull him closer. “Let’s just go home and then we can talk, okay?” He nods. 

“Okay.” He looks at me for a second. “Do you want to go to my place?” 

“Yeah, I really want some time alone with you and it would be hard to have privacy going to Pen’s.” I manage to get a laugh from him.

“Then let’s go.”

This time we walk back to Baz’s flat, I try to say some things, but Baz’s mind is not here, so I stay quiet for the rest of the walk.

We reached his flat a bit before midnight, but I was not feeling tired, actually, I was happy that we would have a chance to talk about what happened in the pub and the main subject, the fact that I’m leaving in two weeks and we need to figure out what we're going to do.

Baz pulled me to his sofa and I waited for him to start the conversation because he seemed to have a lot to talk about. 

“I know that they were being idiots in there, meddling in something that they shouldn't have, but I would be lying if I said that I haven't been thinking about it, about us.” He says. 

“You weren't the only one thinking about this.” I sigh. “I just didn’t want to bring this up before because I didn’t want you to think that I was wanting to rush things.” He stays in silence for a couple of seconds.

“You’ll be leaving in two weeks, I am trying not to think about it for the last few days, but it was something that I wanted to talk to you about. Maybe it is too soon, but I think we should talk about it, especially to see if we both are on the same page. ”

“I agree, and now that we are talking about it, I think that I have to be honest with you,” Baz looks serious. “I know that we’re together for a week, two if we count when we meet, but I really like you, and I never felt this way before for anyone.” He seems to relax and he smiles. “I don’t want this to end when I go back to New York.”

“I don’t want this to end either.” He says. “I was afraid of saying something and scaring you, or something like that, but I also like you, like I never liked anyone before, more than I thought it would be possible to like someone that I know for only two weeks.” I can see that he’s blushing a little. “And I think it would be very dumb of us to let this go only because you don’t live here.”

“Yet,” I say making him smile.

“Yes, only because you don’t live here yet.” I’m smiling too.

“So, where do we stand then?” I ask. “I need to ask just to let things clear.” Baz laughs. “We agree that we are dating and we will keep dating after I go?” I’m smiling a lot now, and Baz too.

“Yes, I guess I can agree with that.” He whispers.

“And we will be dating only each other?” He rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling.

“I don’t know how things are in New York, but here, at least for me that’s what it means to be dating.” He says. “But yes, we will be dating only each other. 

“And that means that I get to call you my boyfriend now?” Honestly, I never smiled so damn much.

“Yes.” He leans closer to me. “But only if I get to do the same.” He whispers against my lips.

“Deal,” I whisper too, and a second later Baz is already kissing me.

“Sleep here tonight.” He says, still against my lips. “Just to sleep, I promise.” He adds after, probably afraid that I could interpret it in another way. “I just want to be with you a little longer.” I nod, but just to be sure I also answer a quietly ‘Yes’.

Baz doesn’t wait another moment to kiss me again, and I swear that if I could I would gladly stay here with him for the next two weeks. A part of my brain remembers me of Penny and Shep and my classes, but I shut it for now. 

I just enjoy the feeling of Baz’s hands on my skin and his lips against mine and the fact that everything is perfect right now. And I’m sure, each time more, that the feeling I have for him is growing very quickly, getting intenser each minute I spend with him.

I could already feel it burn inside me, and that feeling was consummating me with one thought.

_ More.  _

_ More. _

_ More.  _

**Author's Note:**

> So tell me, what do you think of this chapter? Do you want me to keep posting?  
> I already have some chapters ready, so please leave comments and kudos and soon I'll be back with the second chapter.  
> I hope you all have a great Christmas and I hope to be back soon ;)


End file.
